Finally

Well, it took five months, but we are finally there. Jude is finally on a good schedule: Three naps during the day, and only waking once during the night. He is a happy guy for the most part, smiling, giggling, "talking," and as of two days ago, sitting unassisted! He's in my very favorite baby stage and I have even caught myself thinking about future babies (and then quickly silencing those thoughts- my GOSH hormones are good at tricking us into things, aren't they?!?).

I managed fine without a babysitter for three weeks, although I fell pretty behind with my course work and prayed I would not get any new business. So, as of yesterday, we have a new twice weekly sitter. I like her a lot and so do the kids.

I am finally in a good place with diet and exercise. I still have about eight pounds to go, but I'm feeling good about how far I've gotten. I know the rest will come off soon. Plus, my hair has finally stopped falling out in its typical scary postpartum clumps. So THAT's good.

The last of the construction (all outside) is finally back underway, after a mysterious four month hiatus.

I am finally able to host a long-overdue and much-anticipated couples night this Saturday night. The girls will be at my parents' house and Jude is finally going to sleep at a normal time!

Spring is finally here. Thankfully, Winter was mild, but it's still nice to feel warm temperatures and see flowers blooming!

Finally, here are some recent pics:



Purim: The kids were the three little pigs


Purim: The Mr. and I were "Shamy" from The Big Bang Theory


One sad little piggy :(


Before the CAPS game last Sunday


5 months yesterday!


He is already tall enough for his feet to stand flat at the bottom of the exersaucer!

Unhelpful

A few months ago I blogged about how I had thrown in the towel and hired a babysitter. At the time, the times that she was coming were not the most helpful. I decided to continue having her babysit because I was sure that some help was better than none. I also wanted to have her be a familiar face so that my kids would be comfortable with her if I ever needed her for a late night when she would need to put the kids to bed.

A couple of weeks later the babysitter said she had decided to quit her other job and could come babysit for us 3 afternoon/evenings a week from 4pm-8pm. This was perfect. I thought I could use that time to work on my course assignments. Or go to the grocery store alone. Or both! This worked out great for a while, but not without its kinks. She was always either late or could not come at all. I was quite used to this from her. She had been this way since she first started babysitting for us last May (after our former babysitter- who was AMAZING- left to study abroad). She canceled on me the night before the very first day she was supposed to come. I had a doctor's appointment scheduled and I think either Shimmy had to stay home from work or my mom had to drive up here (she lives 45 minutes away). I should have known then that this girl was not the most responsible. When we asked her to sleep over during the weekend we were out of town for my cousin's wedding I waited for the last possible day to book hotel and airfare because I was sure she would cancel last minute. (Thankfully she did not.) I've tried to talk to her about the importance of being on time and reliable. I've explained to her that I cannot make plans when I'm not sure if she will be here on time. She seems to think that she is very responsible and reliable but that things come up once in a while. The problem is that it's not once in a while, it's EVERY FREAKING DAY.

Two weeks ago she said she had decided to take a class that had opened up during the evenings that she babysat for us. She texted me this a couple of hours before she was supposed to be here. I thought that was the end and started to look for someone else. Then she decided she could still babysit here one day 4-8 and one day 1:30-5:30. That would have worked well enough for me. But this never happened. She was always either late or she couldn't come altogether. I cannot express what a nightmare it was trying to schedule things with a babysitter who is so unreliable. Saving errands, a work out, etc. for a time that I had scheduled a babysitter only to have her cancel is one thing. But scheduling actual important meetings, doctor's appointments, etc. to then have to cancel them when she did not show up is quite another. Still I didn't fire her. I continued to look for a new babysitter while tolerating this one. I still reasoned with myself that unreliable help was better than no help at all. Plus, the kids do like her and it's good to keep them familiar with her for those occasional late nights, blah blah blah. Not only have I tolerated her unreliability, but I also let her sleep over when she has an early class the next day. I have let her do her laundry here. I have let her bring her dog here when she needed to. I feed her dinner every time she is here. If I cook, I make sure there is enough for her. If I order take out, I order her her own meal. Around Christmas and her birthday I pay her extra. I am a great person to work for. I always try to show people my appreciation.

However, today was the last straw. On Monday I texted her in the morning to make sure she was still coming that afternoon (which, I should not have to do at all, but I like to avoid last minute surprises). She said she would not be able to come, but would be here today. I texted her this morning and she said she would be here at 1:30. I planned my day accordingly. At 1, she text saying she would be here at 2:30. At 2:30 she texted to say she was on the way. At 3pm, when I realized that Sophie was now standing outside of school waiting for me to pick her up, I called the babysitter hoping she would say she was 1 minute away. She was 20 minutes away. I told her not to bother coming and to please call me later to discuss our situation. I woke Jude up and put him and a barefoot Lilah in the car and raced to get Sophie. This was two hours ago and I am still shaking with anger.

And, yet, when I call her (because I am sure she will not call me), I know she won't think she is at fault for anything. I know she will apologize and make empty promises to be here every time from now on. I know it will be tempting to try to believe her. But I'm pretty sure we are past the point of "any help is better than none." Because this situation with this babysitter is just plain unhelpful.

Where Have I Been?!?

In a word, busy.

In more words: working hard to earn a diploma in interior design, creating a website for my interior design business, throwing Sophie a 5th birthday party, volunteering for the kids' school events, turning 30, recovering from turning 30, plus the usual struggling to survive each day with the kids. Here they are by the way:



Do not be fooled by their sweet faces and coordinated outfits. They are tough customers. More on them when I get another few minutes to breathe. Although, by then, they will probably have gotten much older.

There Is No Guilt On The Other Hand

Today I showed up to a play date for kids and moms in Sophie’s class with all three of my kids in tow. They were the only siblings there. We were the last to arrive. I was a sweaty mess from my morning workout. I spent most my time there nursing. On the other hand, Sophie had a great time.

When we got home, I broke my own rule of letting the girls watch only three tv shows a day, so I could get all of the Shabbat cooking done. On the other hand, they watched nicely together and there has been very little arguing. I even heard some happy discussion and giggling coming from the play room.

While I cooked, I put a fussy Jude in the bumbo on the counter next to me. He fell asleep in the bumbo and I did not move him out, even though I was worried about his head/neck being slumped in that position. On the other hand, he seemed comfortable enough to take a nice little nap.

When he woke up, he spit up all over himself and pooped. I was too busy to clean him up right away. On the other hand, he didn’t seem to mind. Before I took him out to change him, he even smiled and playfully kicked his feet at me.

Right now the house is looking a little more cluttered than I would like it to. I still have a couple more things to cook. The girls are going on hour three of straight tv-watching. Shimmy is holed up in his office, working. On the other hand, we are all home together, my dad is on his way over, and we’re going to have an enjoyable weekend.

Here’s to a very happy and healthy new year. May 2012 be wonderful, exciting, peaceful, fulfilling, and guilt-free!

Jude is Two Months Old!

Jude is two months old! Here is what’s new with him. As you can see from the picture, he is cute and fat and soft and snuggly. As you can also see from the picture, he smiles! Not all the time, and not on cue, but he does flash one every now and then. He also cries! And as of a few days ago, he cries with real tears! He has been sleeping a long stretch (average is seven hours) almost every night for the past couple of weeks. He is strong. He’s not yet rolling over, but he can arch his back to the point of almost doing a back bend. I’m sure he’ll be rolling over any day! I have really enjoyed watching his eyelashes grow over the past two months. He started out with a few individual lashes. Each day they have become longer and thicker. Pretty soon he will have the false lash-looking lashes that his sisters have that I covet so very much. So very long, thick, and dark. So very unfair that I don’t have them too! It’s not smooth sailing yet. Jude still prefers to spend his waking hours being held, mostly by me. Though he is sleeping through the night, the few hours before he falls asleep (about 6:00/7:00 until 10:00/11:00) he is awake and fussy. Instead of being able to relax after I put the girls to bed, I spend the next several hours nursing, being screamed at, and being thrown up on. I’m looking forward to the next month. Past experience tells me that everything will get a lot easier at the three month mark. Until then, the smiles help! :)

Cloning

Having once again rescued Jude from crying so hard that he vomited, and then choked on his vomit, just because I put him down to go use the bathroom, I am wishing I could clone myself. To start, I’d have one of me for each child. This way I could attend to each of their (constant) needs. I would also be able to have one-on-one enjoyable time. I could help Sophie learn to read and practice her writing. I could help Lilah with more complicated puzzles and with her letters and numbers. I could make sure she napped every day and I could toilet-train her. I could nurse Jude totally on demand, but also play with him and engage him instead of plopping him into a swing so often. I’d like another clone or two as well to take care of household stuff and personal stuff. Maybe one clone could just sleep constantly so that the other clones never got tired. So that’s a total of five clones. Although I would be really, really grateful for even one. Scientists, get on it.

Ratios

Having three kids feels like a lot more than two. When there are two parents present it is fine; even enjoyable at times. However, on the days (almost every day) that I go at it alone, it is challenging. 1:1 was hard, mostly because it was all so new and different, but it was manageable. 1:2 was also manageable. In fact, it was easier than 1:1 in some ways, especially once the 2 could play together and entertain each other. But 1:3 is very, very hard. It seems like at any given moment at least one kid is upset or sick or in need of help or in need of entertaining or in need of intervening. Or more than one kid is in need of more than one of those. Or all three are. Most days it’s all I can do to keep my head above water. I can never manage to run errands and complete household chores on the same day. It has to be one or the other. Exercising is hard to fit in, but enjoyable and rewarding when I can make it work. Add volunteering at the girls’ school, helping a friend in need, or anything extra at all and I start to feel like I’m drowning. So I have thrown in the towel and asked our babysitter to come over two evenings a week to provide an extra set of hands. She’s here from the tail end of dinner (which is as soon as she is able to get here after her day job) through bedtime. Two days ago was the first time she came. It was kind of helpful. She held Jude while I finished supervising dinner for the girls, cleaned up dinner, and made their lunches for school the next day, and gave them a bath. Then she sat with the girls and watched tv with them while I fed Jude. Then she held Jude again while I put the girls to bed. Since Jude fussed almost the whole time she held him, I could have just put him in a swing or bouncy seat. And the girls could have watched tv in my room while I nursed. So I’m not sure this is money well spent. She’s coming tonight, so we’ll see how it goes. It’s not exactly the 2:3 you get with another parents or close relative (because I really just want someone to hold Jude while I’m in the shower and then have them make me dinner and bring it to me while I am nursing, and I can’t exactly ask the babysitter to do that!), but I guess 1.5/3 is still better than 1:3.