Late Night Feedings

Where Have I Been?!?

2012-02-09T17:12:00.002-05:00

In a word, busy.

In more words: working hard to earn a diploma in interior design, creating a website for my interior design business, throwing Sophie a 5th birthday party, volunteering for the kids' school events, turning 30, recovering from turning 30, plus the usual struggling to survive each day with the kids. Here they are by the way:

Do not be fooled by their sweet faces and coordinated outfits. They are tough customers. More on them when I get another few minutes to breathe. Although, by then, they will probably have gotten much older.

There Is No Guilt On The Other Hand

2011-12-30T15:00:00.002-05:00

Today I showed up to a play date for kids and moms in Sophie’s class with all three of my kids in tow. They were the only siblings there. We were the last to arrive. I was a sweaty mess from my morning workout. I spent most my time there nursing. On the other hand, Sophie had a great time.

When we got home, I broke my own rule of letting the girls watch only three tv shows a day, so I could get all of the Shabbat cooking done. On the other hand, they watched nicely together and there has been very little arguing. I even heard some happy discussion and giggling coming from the play room.

While I cooked, I put a fussy Jude in the bumbo on the counter next to me. He fell asleep in the bumbo and I did not move him out, even though I was worried about his head/neck being slumped in that position. On the other hand, he seemed comfortable enough to take a nice little nap.

When he woke up, he spit up all over himself and pooped. I was too busy to clean him up right away. On the other hand, he didn’t seem to mind. Before I took him out to change him, he even smiled and playfully kicked his feet at me.

Right now the house is looking a little more cluttered than I would like it to. I still have a couple more things to cook. The girls are going on hour three of straight tv-watching. Shimmy is holed up in his office, working. On the other hand, we are all home together, my dad is on his way over, and we’re going to have an enjoyable weekend.

Here’s to a very happy and healthy new year. May 2012 be wonderful, exciting, peaceful, fulfilling, and guilt-free!

Jude is Two Months Old!

2011-12-15T14:47:00.002-05:00

Jude is two months old! Here is what’s new with him. As you can see from the picture, he is cute and fat and soft and snuggly. As you can also see from the picture, he smiles! Not all the time, and not on cue, but he does flash one every now and then. He also cries! And as of a few days ago, he cries with real tears! He has been sleeping a long stretch (average is seven hours) almost every night for the past couple of weeks. He is strong. He’s not yet rolling over, but he can arch his back to the point of almost doing a back bend. I’m sure he’ll be rolling over any day! I have really enjoyed watching his eyelashes grow over the past two months. He started out with a few individual lashes. Each day they have become longer and thicker. Pretty soon he will have the false lash-looking lashes that his sisters have that I covet so very much. So very long, thick, and dark. So very unfair that I don’t have them too! It’s not smooth sailing yet. Jude still prefers to spend his waking hours being held, mostly by me. Though he is sleeping through the night, the few hours before he falls asleep (about 6:00/7:00 until 10:00/11:00) he is awake and fussy. Instead of being able to relax after I put the girls to bed, I spend the next several hours nursing, being screamed at, and being thrown up on. I’m looking forward to the next month. Past experience tells me that everything will get a lot easier at the three month mark. Until then, the smiles help! :)

Cloning

2011-12-11T17:34:00.000-05:00

Having once again rescued Jude from crying so hard that he vomited, and then choked on his vomit, just because I put him down to go use the bathroom, I am wishing I could clone myself. To start, I’d have one of me for each child. This way I could attend to each of their (constant) needs. I would also be able to have one-on-one enjoyable time. I could help Sophie learn to read and practice her writing. I could help Lilah with more complicated puzzles and with her letters and numbers. I could make sure she napped every day and I could toilet-train her. I could nurse Jude totally on demand, but also play with him and engage him instead of plopping him into a swing so often. I’d like another clone or two as well to take care of household stuff and personal stuff. Maybe one clone could just sleep constantly so that the other clones never got tired. So that’s a total of five clones. Although I would be really, really grateful for even one. Scientists, get on it.

Ratios

2011-12-08T15:53:00.001-05:00

Having three kids feels like a lot more than two. When there are two parents present it is fine; even enjoyable at times. However, on the days (almost every day) that I go at it alone, it is challenging. 1:1 was hard, mostly because it was all so new and different, but it was manageable. 1:2 was also manageable. In fact, it was easier than 1:1 in some ways, especially once the 2 could play together and entertain each other. But 1:3 is very, very hard. It seems like at any given moment at least one kid is upset or sick or in need of help or in need of entertaining or in need of intervening. Or more than one kid is in need of more than one of those. Or all three are. Most days it’s all I can do to keep my head above water. I can never manage to run errands and complete household chores on the same day. It has to be one or the other. Exercising is hard to fit in, but enjoyable and rewarding when I can make it work. Add volunteering at the girls’ school, helping a friend in need, or anything extra at all and I start to feel like I’m drowning. So I have thrown in the towel and asked our babysitter to come over two evenings a week to provide an extra set of hands. She’s here from the tail end of dinner (which is as soon as she is able to get here after her day job) through bedtime. Two days ago was the first time she came. It was kind of helpful. She held Jude while I finished supervising dinner for the girls, cleaned up dinner, and made their lunches for school the next day, and gave them a bath. Then she sat with the girls and watched tv with them while I fed Jude. Then she held Jude again while I put the girls to bed. Since Jude fussed almost the whole time she held him, I could have just put him in a swing or bouncy seat. And the girls could have watched tv in my room while I nursed. So I’m not sure this is money well spent. She’s coming tonight, so we’ll see how it goes. It’s not exactly the 2:3 you get with another parents or close relative (because I really just want someone to hold Jude while I’m in the shower and then have them make me dinner and bring it to me while I am nursing, and I can’t exactly ask the babysitter to do that!), but I guess 1.5/3 is still better than 1:3.

It's Never Too Late For Thank You

2011-12-05T09:55:00.004-05:00

It's about a week and a half late, but here is my Thanksgiving recap:

The entire day went more smoothly than it had in recent past years. We did more prep the day before, allowing for a more relaxed Thanksgiving Morning, which is one of the things I had really missed in the past few years. Even though the relaxing morning didn't begin at 10am, as it had once upon a time (probably B.C.: Before Children, or at least before Child #2), we did manage to all do crafts together at the kitchen table while watching/listening to the parade in the background.

Our Fall Leaves Collage and Thankful Turkey

The " Fry Fest" was much better organized. There was a good mix of people at the Fry Fest including a lot of my friends. The weather was beautiful.

Prepping the fry turkey outside- no coats necessary!

Thanksgiving dinner was really nice and fairly relaxed. The food was delicious. The kids were adorable in their new outfits, which were embroidered with their names. (I can't believe I'm that mom!)

Stress-free last minute prep

Sophie's turkey costume

The turkey was so delicious that my sister took a break from being a vegetarian to eat some!

The kids' outfits with their names embroidered on them

I went shopping on Black Friday with my sister and got some good deals on kids' clothes and Chanukah gifts.

Our friend (though that word is really not enough for what he is to us) Giddy had come to stay beginning Tuesday night and did not leave until the Monday night after Thanksgiving. To have him around was wonderful. He happily played with the girls and held a fussy baby whenever necessary. He helped me with home projects. He co-chaired the Fry Fest, helping oversee every single detail. He made me laugh a lot, which was so good for my tired, worn out self of late. Thanksgiving seemed like a week-long happy occasion while he was here.

Taking a nap with Jude

Playing with a hyper Sophie and a cranky Jude

Since it's never too late for thank you... This year I am especially thankful for:

-My family of origin- particularly my parents- who have been SO helpful since Judah was born. I have never needed help like this before and without even having to admit this to them they just regularly appear to relieve some of the burden. They are truly wonderful parents and grandparents.
- My current family, especially now that our Judah Jack has arrived.
-My chosen family: Giddy (see above reasons) and my girlfriends, who are the reason I can continue to feel centered and sane most days.
- Our good fortune and comfortable lives. Things are a little rough lately, but overall I know I am so blessed for everything I have. I do reflect on that daily.
- My new treadmill which I am on now (way to multitask) that has a place for my iPad to rest so I can blog finally! (I did edit a lot after I originally wrote it- auto correct can't fix everything!)

First Month in Review

2011-11-13T13:30:00.005-05:00

I have composed many beautiful, poignant, and amusing blog posts over the past month. The problem is; however, that they never left my mind. There have been no breaks in the crazy. I am still adjusting to the extra plates I must now keep spinning. I know I will adjust. I know it will get easier. Right now, though, it is nearly impossible to find the time to write. I know I won’t be able to recount the past month the way I really want to, but I want to try to remember this time, so here is my sloppy, rushed attempt.

Week 1 was wonderful. I was thrilled to no longer be pregnant (and still am). We were still in holiday mode, all of the family was here together, and now Judah was here with us too. Shimmy took off from work- both from going into work and from doing work of any kind from home. Even though I was sleep-deprived, I was running on adrenaline. I was in bris preparation mode- going to the florist to pick out centerpieces, menu planning with the caterer, picking out linens at the linen guy’s warehouse, writing my speech, making arrangements for the friends and family that were coming in from out of town, etc. Because the bris was on another holiday, and one of the largest in terms of synagogue attendance (namely, Simchat Torah) we planned a luncheon for a few hundred people. All of the major event planning took my focus and stress away from the main event: the circumcision itself. Everything went perfectly, thank God, and it was a beautiful event. Unfortunately, because it was on a holiday we have no pictures. About a week after the bris I got around to staging some pictures:

Jude on his bris pillow, wearing the outfit that Shimmy wore to his own bris. Taken one week after the actual bris, but better late that never!

Week 2 is when I crashed, but remained in good spirits. I was exhausted, but optimistic that things would ease up soon. I felt determined to keep things running smoothly and to rough out the storm (which, from past parenting experience is never longer than three months). Shimmy was back at work and busier than ever (which, for him, meant not coming home at all some nights), but still I persevered.

A picture of Jude cropped from a picture of him with one of our many visitors.

Week 3 is when I snapped. I did have some help- friends brought dinners and my parents came up to help several times, but I could feel that sense of doom falling upon me. One evening I sat on my bed holding a fussy Jude while my parents sat on my rug, each of them holding one of the girls while they watched a tv show. I could not stop sobbing. All I could think was, “I need some effing sleep.” I felt like I was running on auto pilot. I was depressed and numb. One Sunday I managed to escape long enough to get my eyebrows waxed. It felt good to have hot wax poured on my skin and ripped off. It felt like something besides my usual haze. When the aesthetician was finished, the clock in the salon chimed on the hour, and, I kid you not, played “Hey Jude.” It was time to go back to the crazy.

Jude in his CAPS gear. We watched the game together on one of our lonely, and sleepless, nights.

By Week 4 things started looking up. I finally started getting some sleep. I began going to sleep around 9 or 10pm instead of waiting for the midnight feeding. Judah also started sleeping for three or four hours at a time some nights instead of his typical two. Somehow I managed to work out twice and even did my own nails. Though, I think what really improved things was having cocktails at 11am with my girlfriends, during what has until now been referred to as “playgroup,” but what will henceforth be referred to as “Tuesday brunch and cocktails.” I love my ladies!

My personal trainer napping in his swing in our home gym while I ran on the treadmill.

Which brings us to the present: Tomorrow my Judah Jack will be one month old! Even though it’s been rough at times, I love him to pieces and I can’t imagine our family without him.

Hanging out in the fall leaves

Jude’s Birth Story

2011-10-25T15:36:00.001-04:00

I had been very uncomfortable since around 37 weeks. I had contractions, sometimes ones that were both painful and regular, every day. At 39 weeks exactly, on Yom Kippur, the contractions were so intense and regular that I went to the hospital, only to be sent home. I was miserable. At my 39 week appointment I was dilated 3 cm, which was encouraging. At least all of those contractions were accomplishing something. My parents came to stay with us for Sukkot, which they had planned to do all along. The thinking was that if I had not yet had the baby, they would be here in case I went into labor. And if I had had the baby, they would be here to help. To my consternation, I had not yet had the baby. I was very preoccupied with meal planning for Sukkot and having everything arranged and organized for everyone should I be in the hospital. On the second day of Sukkot, around noon, I began having regular, painful contractions. They would taper off, only to pick back up again a while later. I rested, took a bath, and continued to labor at home all day. By dinner time I couldn’t take it anymore. After we put the girls to bed we left for the hospital. I expected to be at least 5 cm dilated given the awful day I had had. However, after being checked, my doctor told me there had been no change since my last appointment. I was crestfallen. He said since I was over 39 weeks and there were available beds, they would keep me if I wanted. He gave me the following options: 1. Go back home, possibly facing another few days of this unproductive labor. This was unacceptable to me. I could not imagine going through even one more day of this. 2. Walk around the hospital and be checked again after a couple of hours. This didn’t sound appealing either, since after an entire day of what I thought was semi-active labor I had not progressed. 3. Give me an epidural, turn up the Pitocin, and have this baby. I went with option 3. By midnight I had been given the epidural and was comfortable. By 12:30 am the Pitocin was working its magic. By 6:30 am I was completely dilated and ready to push. Three pushes later Judah Jack was born at 6:42 am Friday morning, October 14, 2011 (one day before his due date)! He weighed 7 pounds, 13 ounces. He was 21.3 inches long. His apgar scores were 9 and 9. He was perfect! I couldn’t believe I had a son! Delivery and immediate recovery were a breeze. I did not tear at all, and the epidural wore off pretty quickly. I had been telling everyone since before I even delivered that I wanted to go home as soon as I felt ready. They told me I had to wait at least 24 hours, so after I delivered on Friday morning, I told anyone I encountered that I would be going home the next morning. We made sure everyone had our discharge papers ready, and that all necessary exams and vaccines were given. By Saturday morning I felt great; I wasn’t even that sore. Due to an outbreak of pertussis, the hospital was offering moms a DTaP vaccine, which I accepted before going home. We got home in time for lunch in the sukkah. We had only been gone for about 36 hours, and we picked up our holiday/Shabbat celebrations right where we had left off. All of my best friends were eating at another friend/neighbor’s house that day and I couldn’t resist surprising them by popping in. I felt fantastic, so I bundled Jude up and along with Shimmy and the big sisters, we walked over. Everyone was shocked and happy to see us- I am so glad we went! Recovery continued to go well. I ended up a having a localized reaction from the DTaP vaccine which resulted in an extremely sore, red, and itchy upper arm for close to a week. This was my only complaint recovery-wise (other than the sleep deprivation). I feel very lucky to have had such a great birthing experience and to welcome our sweet little boy to our family!

Hey, Jude!

2011-10-24T13:59:00.003-04:00

Judah Jack "Jude" Messing was born Friday, October 14, 2011 at 6:42 am.

He weighed 7 pounds, 13 ounces and was 21.3 inches long.

He is super cute and snuggly.

Delivery and recovery were, thankfully, very easy, and we left the hospital less than 28 hours after he was born. (Full birth story to come.)

Aren't they cute? Having three kids is fun! And tiring! And sometimes a little crazy! Which is why it took a week and a half to report that the third one had even been born!

Incriminating Evidence

2011-09-27T20:59:00.002-04:00

I am a tidy person. I like to stay on top of clutter before it gets out of hand. When something is out of place, I put it away. That being said, the following pictures prove how overwhelmed and in pain I have been lately:

My kitchen floor has looked like this for DAYS.

Why, yes, that is a close up of a half-eaten waffle on the floor. It still took me a few hours to throw it away after I took the picture, because it was just not worth the pain involved to bend down and pick it up.

24

2011-09-20T15:27:00.002-04:00

I have never seen the show 24, but I have been told that each episode covers a 24 hour period, and I imagine that a lot happens over the course of each said 24 hour period. Here are my last 24 hours:

3:30 pm yesterday: Sophie had been home from school for only a few minutes (God bless the friend that brings her home every day. It is seriously my saving grace in life.) when Lilah woke up from her nap. I was not excited at the prospect of entertaining them for another four hours until bedtime, so I took them out shopping at a couple of nearby stores.

5:00pm: Things were going pretty well. I had found some shoes for myself, a birthday present for a kid's party we are going to this weekend, and each of the girls had chosen a book. Sophie was being a typical four year old in a store: dancing down the aisles, walking backwards, touching all of the clothes, etc., but generally behaving. Lilah was eating a snack of cheese crackers. She was asking to get out of the stroller a lot, but was also behaving fine. She had been coughing/congested all day and the school nurse had called me, but I hadn't been all that concerned. My kids have asthma; they cough a lot. Sometimes they wheeze and we use an inhaler. No biggie. All of a sudden Lilah's coughing turned into vomitting. All over herself, the stroller, and one of the not-yet-paid-for books she was holding at the time. And we were next in the check out line. Here is where my experience at these types of things came in handy. I calmly walked us all to the back of the store, toward the restroom, drawing as little attention as possible to ourselves (impressive feat considering we were a caravan of vomit). When we got to the restroom, the door was being blocked by a garment rack. I struggled to move the rack, open the door, and maneuver my nine month pregnant self, a fidgety four year old, and a stroller containing a crying, vomit-covered two-year-old through the narrow opening, all while a saleswoman looked on and made no attempt to help in any way. Once inside the small room, I got to work. Luckily, I carry an entire package of wipes in my purse at all times. I wiped down Lilah, the book, and the stroller pretty quickly. I got everything organized in the stroller's basket and started to open the door. The garment rack had been pushed back against the door again, so once again, I had to really struggle to get us all out. Again, the saleswoman was just standing there watching. When we were all settled on the other side of the door I thanked her for her help. She told me it wasn't her job to help me. I said a few more sarcastic things to her and walked away. We walked over to the kids' clearence clothes, picked up a cheap dress to change Lilah into, and made our way back to the check out line. When we were outside, I changed Lilah into the new dress, and back home we went. All in all, we did find a way to pass a couple of hours, so mission: accomplished.

6:00pm: We had breakfast for dinner followed by the kids playing outside while I potted some plants.

8:00pm: The kids had been bathed, changed into jammies, had watched their bedtime show, and went to bed pretty easily. Lilah was not breathing well, so we did the inhaler and I set up a mist humidifier in her room.

9:00pm: Shimmy came home and we had dinner and our daily debriefing session together. Then he went to work out and I went to do my hair for my maternity photo shoot that was to occur the next day.

10:00pm: Shimmy and I reconvened for the Roast of Charlie Sheen on Comedy Central. It was hilarious. I fell asleep before it was over, hoping to get a good night's sleep and be refreshed for my photo shoot.

10:48pm: Lilah woke up crying. Shimmy did the inhaler with her again and put her back to bed.

1:30am: Lilah woke up again. Shimmy laid down with her in her bed.

3:50am: Lilah came and got me. Shimmy was passed out in her bed. She climbed into bed with me. I gave her a snack and let her watch some tv, then we both went back to sleep.

7:46am: I heard Sophie in the bathroom calling out, "Daddy, help me!" Followed by, "Daddy, I'm starting to pee on the floor!" Followed by, "Daddy, I had an accident!" Daddy was still passed out in Lilah's room and deaf to the world around him. I stumbled into the bathroom through my sciatica and leg cramps, cleaned up the floor, and showered Sophie. Then I helped her get dressed and went downstairs with her to make breakfast and pack her lunch for school. The construction workers, who were already here, asked me many questions and had me move a car. Lilah made her way downstairs shortly thereafter in good spirits, but her breathing was very labored. Shimmy made his way downstairs shortly after that and decided that both he and Lilah should stay home today and that Lilah should be seen by a doctor. I decided to hell with everything, I would go about my own plans to make myself glamorous and enjoy my maternity photo shoot, which would now have to be indoors as it was raining.

8:30am: Shimmy took Sophie to school and Lilah entertained herself while I attempted to cover up my stress and lack of sleep with copious amounts of coffee and heavy doses of makeup.

9:30am: My photographer arrived and I had a GREAT session. Loved the photographer and can't wait to see the results!

10:30am: I went with Shimmy and Lilah to the doctor. I helped Shimmy hold Lilah down while she underwent a dreaded nebulizer treatment. We left with a better-breathing Lilah and some prescriptions. We went out for lunch, attempted to pick up the prescriptions (but they were still not ready), and went home.

2:15pm: After a lot of snacking, reading, stalling, and then rolling around and talking to herself, Lilah finally fell asleep.

2:40pm: I decided to go to sleep too.

3:13pm: Sophie woke me up, asked me for a snack, and told me, "Don't tell Daddy I woke you up."

Which brings us to the present, 3:30pm: Sophie is eating a snack and watching a show. Lilah is still napping. My parents will be here in a couple of hours to eat dinner and babysit while Shimmy and I are at Back to School Night. When I get back home I will have an exciting evening of four loads of laundry to fold.

Back To School

2011-09-09T14:30:00.002-04:00

First day of school

The kids have just finished their first complete week of school. Everyone is happy. The morning routine is working, everyone is having fun at school, and afternoon carpool is working out well. I am breathing easier and my back is hurting less. I am crazy busy with appointments, meetings, holiday prep and nesting- the lines between which are very blurry. But I am alone! I can do all of these things and do them well! And the kids are so happy when they come home- babbling excitedly about the fun day they've had! Everybody wins! As sad as I am to say good-bye to Summer, I think Fall is going to work out just fine. To start off the season right: apple picking on Sunday!

Catching Up

2011-09-08T12:05:00.009-04:00

I've been too busy to blog, y'all. Both the good kind of busy and the bad kind of busy. I'll try to catch up now- and I'll do it with pics to make up for my lack of blogging.

The construction, which should have been finished well over a month ago, is still going on. I'm hoping everything on the inside of the house will be finished by the end of next week. The landscaping is still a complete mess. It should also have been finished a few weeks ago. There was a lazy period, followed by progress, followed by a week of rain and flooding. I have a dream that one day when I look out the window I'll see grass, plants, paved walkways, and a fountain. I am so very tired of looking at mud, rocks, holes, and ditches:

We took our annual Charleston trip for a week in the middle of August. We rented a beach house with a great view:

And we had a ball:

It was great hanging out with friends and family and spending time with each other:

The very next weekend we headed up to Cleveland to celebrate our niece's bat mitzvah. The kids loved hanging out with their cousins:

We had time to squeeze in a trip to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum (no matter what I do, this picture keeps posting sideways):

The next weekend, Shimmy and I flew to Atlanta without the kids for my cousin's wedding. Even though we were only there for a total of 26 hours, it was amazing. Firstly, because instead of spending between six and ten hours in the car as I had done for the past few weekends, it was a short hour and a half flight! I got to eat, sleep, and party like a normal person! It was fabulous! I found this pic on my camera- I think my dad took it. It's blurry, but it's happy:

And that brings us to the present. The summer is over. The kids are in school (that will get its own post), the weather is gloomy, and I am busy planning all of our holiday meals. Oh, and a baby is coming soon. Back to the grind! Nine more months until summer is back in full swing.

Hybrid

2011-08-05T19:45:00.001-04:00

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a long time now. And the longer I wait, the more relevant it becomes. It’s nothing highly astute or Earth-shattering, but it’s still incredible to me. Lilah is growing up.

I remember observing a friend’s two year old a few years ago and thinking, she is a baby-kid hybrid. Lilah is now at this hybrid stage. She still has chubby cheeks, fine baby hair, and an adorable little baby giggle. She still runs to me for comfort when she’s sad or scared. She still asks me if she can give me “a big, big hug.” She still sleeps with her thumb in her mouth and her body curled into the fetal position. She still has soft baby feet. But those feet are getting big. I’ve noticed a few freckles cropping up on that soft, baby skin. Her hair is finally long enough for a pony tail (not that she lets me put her hair in a pony tail). She likes to boss me around. Sometimes, if I try to sing along with her she gets angry and yells, “No, don’t sing that!” She remembers things and starts actual conversations with me. She has mad negotiating skills.

I knew this part was coming, but the baby days still managed to slip through my fingers. No matter how many times I kiss that little baby face, it continues to mature. No matter how many times I elicit that heartwarming giggle, I cannot bottle it forever. I’ve been here before with Sophie, but somehow it’s harder this time. Perhaps it is because I know how quickly Sophie’s baby days slipped away from me that I am grasping even tighter around Lilah’s baby days. Sadly, it is to no avail. No matter how tight my grasp, those baby days slip farther and away with each passing moment. I can only try my best to bottle them in my heart.

From this:

To this:

Unwinding

2011-07-28T08:58:00.002-04:00

You know what cures a long day filled with aches and pains and whiny children? A jacuzzi bath, a bowl of strawberries, a (small) glass of (5% alcohol by volume) wine and Tina Fey.

The Way You Look, July

2011-07-12T12:25:00.005-04:00

July is the best month of the year. Summer is in full-swing. The long, wonderfully hot days are filled with laughter in the pool:

Lazy afternoons in the hammock, looking up at the sky:

Picnics of fresh fruit (usually sweet, juicy watermelon):

Floating around, without a worry in the world:

And, of course, July 4th, in all it's flag-filled glory:

The days of July are what I mourn in the Fall, long for in the Winter, and eagerly anticipate in the Spring. This is when I am my happiest. I can only try to bottle it as best I can and hope it lasts the rest of the year until July returns.

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...

First Day

2011-06-22T12:48:00.002-04:00

Monday was the first day of camp. It was the first day of Sophie's third summer at the same camp. It was Lilah's first day of camp- or any program without me- ever. Lilah is my easy-going child. She is smart and sweet. She adjusts to change fairly easily. I have been leaving her with a babysitter (at our house) for a few hours a week for the past year. I had attended a Mommy and Me class with her at the school where camp takes place. Half of her bunk mates are her best friends, the children of my best friends. She has seen these kids about three times a week since she was nine months old. I had not given much thought to the possibility of camp being a major transition. And, yet, there were tears when I took her to camp. I abandoned the idea of dropping her off in the carpool line with Sophie, and instead, walked her in myself. There were tears when I said good-bye. So I stayed for a few more minutes. More tears, so I stayed a bit longer. Finally, I left and watched her through the window. She was sad, but engaged in an activity with her counselor. I drove home fighting back my own tears. I had a list of things to do during the three hours she was at camp, but instead, I found myself wandering around and checking the clock to see if it was time to pick her up yet. I did manage to convince myself to get on the treadmill (if all I was doing was walking around the house, I may as well be walking on the treadmill). When noon finally did arrive, I picked her up. She greeted me with a smile and said, "I had fun with my friends." She looked happy. She also looked different. She looked like a big kid standing there with her backpack on. She looked older. I remember this happening to Sophie too; this transformation. It is subtle, but it is there. It is a maturity; an independence. In a short three hours of fending for themselves (with lots of supervision), children grow. It is a good thing. There is a part of me that wishes kids could do both- be independent and still stay attached. But this is life. My baby birdie flew out of the nest this week. And I am both proud and a little sad.

Father's Day 2011

2011-06-20T13:44:00.003-04:00

We had a lovely Father's Day in between ballet class, camp orientation, and a birthday party. (Really, why do people plan things on Fathers Day?! Why can't we spend the whole day together as a family?!) The girls and I made Shimmy his favorite breakfast and brought it to him in bed. This was after we heard him coming downstairs earlier than expected and Sophie yelled at him to get back in bed. There were cards and presents and cuddles. It was adorable. After all of the non-Father's Day obligations were met, we had dinner with my dad, sister, and sister's girlfriend. (My mom is out of town.) On the way home from dinner, with my dad squeezed between the girls' carseats in the back, Lilah threw her dinner up all over herself and the backseat. My dad calmly wiped her down and held her hand. When we got home, I gave the girls baths and got them ready for bed while Shimmy hosed down the carseats. This seemed to really capture the true meaning of fatherhood. Which complemented my Mother's Day early morning fun of cleaning up peed on sheets. It's part of the parenting package. And even with the occasional vomit and pee incident, it's a pretty wonderful package.

Good Morning and Happy Father's Day!

breakfast in bed: coffee, orange juice, toasted bagel with cream cheese and southwestern scrambled eggs

My sister, our Daddy, and Me

An Unoriginal, but still worth sharing, Thought

2011-06-15T16:52:00.003-04:00

This is something that gets discussed in the blogosphere from time to time. It's my turn to mention it.

YES- I have an amazing husband, wonderful children, parents who are living, and an awesome group of friends.

YES- I have a beautiful home, a nice car, and live very comfortably.

YES- I have my health.

I am constantly aware and appreciative of all of these things. I thank God every day. I do not take any of these things for granted.

BUT- once in a while sucky things happen. I rarely mention the sucky things because I feel guilty for letting them overshadow the awesome things for a short period of time. Occasionally I do complain about something and it is SUPER UNHELPFUL for the person I am complaining to to make light of it or remind me about all of the awesome things.

In summation:
I am blessed, but occasionally stressed.
I am lucky, but sometimes things are sucky.

Sunday, Busy Sunday

2011-05-22T14:56:00.002-04:00

Weekends have been crazy busy lately.

Last Sunday we had- I exaggerate not- A birthday party, a ballet class, another birthday party, a play date, and then another birthday party.

Today we had a ballet recital, a baby naming, a brief break during which I did laundry and painted sample colors on the outside of the house, and later on is dinner with some visiting relatives.

Next weekend we have sleep over company, a birthday party/baby naming, and maybe if we feel ambitious, a BBQ of our own.

I'm pretty sure every weekend in June is booked with something.

Most of the events are fun, and almost anything beats trying to entertain the kids all day at home, but I feel like weekends are not supposed to be quite so BUSY. I think I remember way back when weekends were for sleeping, eating out, and walking through street fairs holding hands with my husband. Nah, there's no way that EVER happened.

Living with Construction

2011-05-19T08:52:00.001-04:00

You know your kids have grown up with construction when they are typically quite reserved, but greet the construction workers like long lost relatives. At least someone is happy to see them. Don’t get me wrong: I enjoy the planning that goes into home projects and I love the finished product. But, the actual period of construction (any transitional, disruptive period for that matter) kind of stresses me out. I can be a pretty high-anxiety person. The world can be a jungle for me sometimes. My home is my sanctuary. And when it is invaded by others for long periods of time, I sometimes feel that I have no sanctuary. I have to deal with the mess. And the noise. And my car perpetually getting blocked in. And HAVING TO WEAR A BRA ALL DAY LONG.

When we met with our contractor to discuss this phase of renovations, I concluded the meeting by enthusiastically saying, “I’m really excited about this!” To which he, experienced contractor and father of seven replied, “You say that now, but this is like having another baby. At first you’re really excited, but then when it comes you’re tired and annoyed.” He is a smart man. However, like having a baby, even though I am tired and displaced, I am still pretty excited. This is my passion. Planning, designing, and overseeing the completion of a home project is fun and fulfilling, despite the stress. Kind of like parenting…

Mothers Day 2011 in Pictures

2011-05-09T14:18:00.004-04:00

First, I celebrated as a mom:

Then, as a daughter:

Great day, all around :)

Chag HaAviv

2011-05-02T16:11:00.004-04:00

Passover is also known as Chag HaAviv, Festival of the Spring, and with good reason. No matter when in the secular calendar Passover falls, be it mid-March or late-April, that is when Spring seems to occur. We spent Passover in its entirety at my parents' house, as we do every year. We had a fabulous time. I especially enjoyed sleeping in an extra hour every morning while my dad fed and entertained the kids. It was so nice to spend so much quality with our family- and so much of it outdoors!

Highlights included:

Seders (complete with our kid-friendly seder on the afternoon before the second seder):

Playdates with friends (including blogger friends- say hi to CBHM's Z and E!):

The National Zoo:

----> entire lion family!

When we got home we found that Spring had indeed sprung at our house while we were away. The blossoming tree that we played under the week before we left was now covered in leaves. Bushes that had previously been bare were now in bloom. The water that had accumulated on top of our pool cover was full of tadpoles, some of which have metamorphosed (that is the correct word, I looked it up!) into frogs that croak in the evening. And, once again, there is a nest right outside the kitchen window. Spring is here to stay! Until, of course, Summer arrives, which is even better :)

These Are The Days To Remember

2011-04-12T18:59:00.003-04:00

When I checked my cellphone over coffee this morning I saw a most wonderful text from one of my good friends, "cancel playdate water broke." I had been asked to be on-call as caretaker of her son, who is Lilah's age, should this happen before her parents arrived in town. I awaited further instruction. I smiled all day long, picturing my friend preparing to welcome her baby girl into the world. While at Target, Lilah and I bought the most adorable bathing suit, floppy hat, and sunglasses for our future pool party guest. At 2:30pm my friend called to say that labor was progressing nicely but that her parents were still a few hours away- could I pick her son up from daycare and bring him back to my house until her parents arrived? Of course! At 3:25pm Baby Girl (not sure if my friend wants her kids publicized on my blog) arrived and I received the call shortly after! (It's awesome how many times my friend and I spoke during her labor- God bless epidurals.) A couple of hours later my girls and I headed out to pick up the new big brother. We brought him back home with us, changed him, fed him dinner, and played with him. In the middle of all of this, Sophie turned to me and said, "Mommy, you're good." I said, "I'm a good friend to X?" She said, "Yes, and you're a good mom." MADE MY DAY. It's amazing how much she notices now. She watched the way I cared for someone that wasn't my own child and I think she was proud. And that makes me proud. Awesome day all-around. Baby Girl arrived and she and her mama are doing great! And my girls, growing and maturing by leaps and bounds, are doing great too!

Coming Out

2011-04-10T13:24:00.004-04:00

Hey, guess what?

And guess what else? I've been blogging about it all along, over here:
http://thirdbunintheoven.blogspot.com/

Don't forget to start from the beginning!

Lilah's Birthday

2011-03-29T20:51:00.003-04:00

Sunday was Lilah's *actual* birthday. We had celebrated with friends the week before. Sunday was a day for us to celebrate her birthday as a family. Despite forecasts of snow, the weather was clear, and we headed down to see the Cherry Blossoms in full bloom, as we have done every year for as long as I can remember. I love seeing them. I love seeing them through my children's eyes even more. Sophie is now old enough to remember how much we love them and to look forward to them every year. I think Lilah might be getting there. We took time to really enjoy them up close before walking around the Tidal Basin and finally stopping to picnic. After a wonderful afternoon, we went to Nana and Poppa's for dinner and birthday cake. Lilah had a great birthday- and so did I :)

Purim - Panic = Success!

2011-03-21T18:16:00.005-04:00

I was talking to a relative on Friday and telling them about Sunday's party. He asked, "why is it that you always have to host the party every Purim?" "Because I LIKE to!," I replied automatically. And I do. The one year I didn't host Purim I was literally depressed all day. Despite my usual panic, I really do love throwing parties. Which brings us to yesterday's party.

This year's annual Purim bash was SO MUCH FUN! We decided to go with a Sesame Street theme. I was Grover, Shimmy was Big Bird, Sophie was Abby, and Lilah was Cookie Monster. We had a great group of friends over, great food, and no pre-party panic! I'm not even sure how that happened. I'm always prepared, so it's not the last minute rush that stresses me out. I have been known to have the pre-party panic even if everything is 100% ready and I am sitting down waiting for guests to arrive. Maybe blogging about it last week helped? If I put it out there in the universe (or internetz) it can no longer attack me from within? Who knows. All I know is that yesterday we had one heck of a good time.

Since Lilah's birthday is this coming Sunday, I had already thrown parties the previous two Sundays, and the same group of friends would have been invited to a separate birthday party, we decided to celebrate her birthday yesterday too. This weekend we will celebrate with family!

(Best family pic of the day even though Shimmy had lost his costume by this point, Lilah took off her hood, revealing very messy hair, and Sophie is wearing/holding the entire contents of the dress up bin. Hey, I look okay.)

Location:
Our house, which was clearly made for entertaining. We can seat 30+ people around tables comfortably in our dining room. Love it.

Menu:
Glazed corned beef
Sweet and sour meatballs
Chicken stuffed wontons
Mock shrimp cocktail
Sesame noodles
Whipped potatoes in phylo shells
Vegetables and dips

and for dessert:
Ambrosia (I cannot wait to make this again- it was SO GOOD)
Pumpkin muffins (per Miss Abby Cadaby aka Sophie's request)
Hamantashen of course, with a BIG birthday hamantashen for Lilah (also Sophie's idea)

Activities:
Eating, hanging out, and a costume contest for the kids, which Lilah won! I think people voted for her because it was her birthday party. She was super cute in her cookie monster costume, but she had some good competition.

(Sophie was Hawaiian Abby Princess Aurora- she definitely got points for creativity)

Party favor:
Our Mishloach Manot bags, which were Sesame Street themed to match our costumes! The bags contained Bert's Oatmeal, Cookie Monster's Cookies, Oscar's Mud Cakes (brownies), Big Bird's Bird Seed (sunflower seeds), and Elmo's Juice Box

As successful as it was, I'm taking a break from parties for a while. As the host, that is. I'd love to be a guest if anyone else is so inclined to do the planning :)

If it weren't for the panic attacks, I could be a party planner!

2011-03-14T09:36:00.003-04:00

I enjoy entertaining. I really, really do. And also, it really stresses me out. I enjoy planning parties, sometimes themed ones. I enjoy sending out invitations, planning the menu, decorating, searching for party favors. I enjoy preparing the food, trying out new recipes, designing the presentation of the food. The hours before the party I am a wreck. I am in a constant dialogue with myself that goes something like this:
"Oh crap, crap, crap."
"Everything is going to be fine. You ROCK at this."
"I am literally shaking."
"You have planned everything to perfection and now it's just in its final stages."
"I want to throw up."
"This is going to be FUN."
"I've changed my mind. I want to spend the night in bed watching TV instead."
"Pull yourself together- it's all going to be FINE."
And it IS. It's better than fine, it's amazing. I have fun, the guests have fun. I spend the next day looking at pictures over and over again, smiling, because everything was so great!

Most Recent Party: Shimmy's 30th Birthday Booze Cruise

Location:
An electric boat that toured the harbor for 2 hours

Menu:
Mexican pinwheels
Cheese ball and crackers
Babaganoush and veggies
Caprese salads in tomato bowls
Mini fruit tarts
Birthday cake made to look like a life preserver

Party favor:
Koozies that said "Shimmy's 30th Birthday Booze Cruise"

Next up: Purim Party on Sunday
We're expecting a large crowd of great friends. The menu is planned. The party favors are assembled. It's going to be awesome! Except for the panic attack that will ensue shortly beforehand.

UNION!

2011-03-05T19:49:00.002-05:00

I am ready to organize. Who's in?

I am waiting for my kids to burst in the door any minute. It is Saturday night. It is past their bedtime. They are supposed to be at my parents' house until tomorrow afternoon. Apparently my four-year-old can manipulate a couple of 54-year-olds into making the 45-minute trip to take her home early. On one hand, I get it. She's a little kid and at that age (really, at any age) homesickness is real and hard to work through. One the other hand, I am angry. LIVID, actually. She has been spending a few weekends a year at my parents' house for entire life. Though I am sure there were some tears at some point during previous visits, she was never driven back early.

The real cause for my anger is that I feel cheated out of what was supposed to be a break. Breaks that come few and far between for me. Being a stay-at-home-mom is a full time job for me. I do EVERYTHING from the minute the kids wake up until they go to bed at night, and I hope and pray they stay asleep all night so I can at least clock out until the next morning. I don't have the weekends to look forward too, in fact, they are worse than the weekdays in many ways. 99% of the time I do this all alone, with no other parent present due to a demanding job of his own. I need a freaking break once in a while. Not to mention the conditions under which I work. I often eat scraps for meals. I am not afforded proper bathroom breaks. I get no sick leave at all whatsoever. And I'm tired of it. Let's organize! Union!

(Another) Stroke of Genius

2011-02-25T12:48:00.002-05:00

Sophie: What comes after Sunday?
Me: Monday
Sophie: And then what?
Me: Tuesday
Sophie: And then what?
Me: Wednesday
Sophie: And then what?
Me: Thursday
Sophie: And then what?
Me: Friday
Sophie: And then what?
Me: Shabbat
Sophie: And then what?
Me: Sunday
Sophie: What comes after Sunday again?
Lilah (who had been listening to the whole conversation): Monday

Keeping Busy

2011-02-09T16:54:00.005-05:00

To borrow some lyrics from George Harrison, it’s been a long, cold, lonely winter. The wind, cold, snow, and ice make winter unbearable for me. The days are short and bitter. Someone is sick at any given time. As if that wasn’t enough to bring me down, I’ve been a parenting by myself for most of the past few months. I have felt like a shadow of my normal self for too long now. It’s been hard. Whenever I am in a rut, funk, or just a difficult period of time, my strategy for surviving it is to stay busy. As Lucille Ball once said, "keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” I believe this. It does work. Staying busy and telling myself that this period of time will pass gives me the motivation to keep on keeping on. And that makes me feel like I am doing a good job. I just try to get through each day. Several days become several weeks and several months. Before long I am looking back over the past months feeling satisfied that I survived them, and knowing that I will survive the next ones. I keep busy by signing us up for music classes, mommy and me, playgroups, and other activities. I arrange play dates and dinner company. I plan events and stay busy with the planning, executing, and recovering from them.

Recently we celebrated Sophie's birthday:

My birthday:

And had a family and family friends reunion of sorts:

I’m already onto the next things: Shimmy’s birthday (his 30^th!), Purim, and Lilah’s birthday. It’s good to stay busy. I know this difficult period of time will pass… Punxsutawney Phil predicts an early spring and I believe it. There is no snow in the forecast for the first time in weeks. I can see patches of grass. I have seen and heard birds outside- actual birds, not just the wretched crows that pick at the neighbors’ trash! I see that ice slowly melting. Smiles are returning to the faces. Here comes the sun.

Four Years of Birthdays

2011-01-14T08:23:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday to my sweet Sophia Grace :)

Good (Mama)Vibrations

2011-01-10T15:21:00.003-05:00

Once, when I was pregnant with Sophie, I had a vivid dream. I dreamt I was this mama fish. I was in the deep sea, swimming along the ocean floor and there was some sort of predator, a bigger fish, perhaps. My heart was pounding as I tried to herd (school?) all of my baby fish to safety under a large rock/coral thing. It was so real. I woke up feeling panicked and exhausted. It was my first time experiencing that protective mother feeling and I hadn’t even given birth yet!

We have always had a fish tank in our home. I used to think of the fish as I think of a houseplant. It’s something nice to look at, it requires some care once in a while, and that’s about it. Since becoming a mom; however, the fish have become other beings that I care for. And, I SWEAR to you that they know I am the mama. If anyone else is in the room, they hardly notice. They go about their regular business of swimming and poking around. As soon as I WALK PAST THE DOORWAY they immediately form a school and all swim to the top of the tank. It’s so obvious that Shimmy even acknowledges it. And I can’t ignore them. It’s as if one of my children is standing at my feet asking to be held. If I haven’t fed the fish that day, I will feed them. If I have just fed them an hour earlier, I will stand there and talk to them for a while. It’s like they can just sense my mama vibes. And I accept this. I know I am the nurturer of the house and that this applies to nurturing every living thing, be it a human, a fish, or a plant.

Going about their business:

I've been spotted:

HI, MAMA!!!

Sorry in advance...

2011-01-05T15:56:00.002-05:00

...but would you all mind terribly if I brag about my genius baby for a minute? If you do mind, don't read this post. I won't be insulted. In fact, I won't even know. I usually don't brag about exceptional things my kids do. I know their strengths, talents, and abilities. I feel thankful to God and I feel proud as a parent, and that's usually enough. I don't need to go out of my way to tell others about them. BUT, this blog is a way for me to archive my memories of their childhoods. And one day I am going to want to be able to recall specific examples of just how amazingly smart Lilah (21 months old) is. Here are those examples:
1. Some of the moms at playgroup were asking their kids where so-and-so was, hoping their kid would point to the correct person. I didn't participate, because I know Lilah knows who everyone is. When they were finished, Lilah said, "Where's Izzie?" Izzie was the one friend not there that day. Lilah pointed that out.
2. I asked Lilah's babysitter what she ate for lunch today. The babysitter said, "The chick patty, cheese, fruit, veggie chips, and water." Lilah, who had been listening the whole time, said, "and milk." Babysitter said, "Oh yea, and milk too."
3. We were leaving the house this afternoon and Lilah said, "right back," and went to get her hat and mittens.
4. We were sitting at the table eating grapes together and I noticed it was time to go get Sophie. I jumped up in a hurry and said, "we have to go now!" Lilah said, "hold on, Mommy." She put grapes back in the bowl and carried it to the refrigerator.

The kid is mad smart. My first clue was when, at just a couple of months old, she would kick the buttons on her mobile to make the music start again. I was clued in again at 15 months when she counted to six (actually pointed to 1,2,3,4,5,6 dots on a ladybug while saying the correct number). Again, and again I am amazed by her.

I would be remiss if I didn't talk about one of Sophie's amazing qualities too, namely, her incredible memory. The girl reminds me about things that happened over a year ago (which is a quarter of her lifetime)! I have always had a rididulous memory, so it's pretty awesome when she remembers things that I don't.

These kids are going to go far, my friends. Thanks for reading, and sorry again about the bragging. I'll try to keep it infrequent.

The Curse of the Vaporizers

2011-01-02T19:32:00.002-05:00

I am not a superstitious person. I have always been a firm believer that bad things only come from superstitious activity if you believe they do. However, one thing has been very hard to deny for the past few years. And that, my friends, is the curse of the vaporizers. Like many caring parents, I feel badly for my kids when they are sick with colds and do everything I can to make them feel more comfortable. One thing being setting up a vaporizer in their rooms, delivering soothing puffs of eucalyptus-infused mist. However, I have noticed something very strange. As long as the vaporizers, in all of their sediment-filled tubs and ugly towels underneath glory, are there, the kids are healthy. As soon as I think we’re in the clear (that is to say, there has been nary a sniffle for a good two months) and put away the vaporizers, almost the next day, someone is sick again. We are not just talking about Sick Season (what i call October-March). It is so bizarre. I think I have finally accepted the curse of the vaporizers. Everyone has been healthy for some time now, and though they are so very unsightly, I am leaving those ugly things right where they are. Knock on wood. Poo poo poo.

I flip my latkes in the air sometimes, saying ay oh, spin the dreidel...

2010-12-22T15:53:00.015-05:00

Chanukah is one of my favorite holidays. Unlike most Jewish holidays, it does not require a lot of advanced preparation. It also does not have the same restrictions and prohibitions. This is especially appreciated in years like this one, when Chanukah literally crept up on us just a few days after Thanksgiving. It was filled with good food, good family and friends, good parties, and a good youtube video. (I usually think these things are silly and that the people that make them are even sillier, but I'm telling you, these boys have got it going on. This will be the next Chanukah Song.)

Party at the Parents' House:

Eating:

Opening presents:

Inventing a new game- it's sort of like a cross between paper football and basketball. Played with chocolate coins, of course. Extra points awarded for getting them into the light fixtures:

Housewarming Party:

Greeting guests:

Enjoying a doughnut:

Me and one of my besties (good news, guys, she's single!):

Just 100 or s0 of our nearest and dearest:

Plus we had lots of fun on our own every night!

Lighting the menorah:

Singing songs:

Opening presents:

Where Have I Been?

2010-12-22T10:13:00.002-05:00

Entertaining. Specifically: Mom's birthday. Sleepover company the weekend before Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving, including sleeping company for the whole weekend. A birthday brunch for Shimmy's almost-eighty-year-old grandmother the Sunday after Thanksgiving. A huge Chanukah/Housewarming Party the very next Sunday. Now it's time to start thinking about Sophie's birthday. But before I do, prepare for a barrage of blog posts.

Thanksgiving- A Bird's Eye View

2010-12-22T09:20:00.007-05:00

Here's the story of our Thanksgiving, as seen through our turkeys:

The day began bright and early with the deep-fry. About 50 people, most of them men, came to drink, grunt, and fry things. Among the things fried were sausages, salami chips, this turkey:

And for the first time, a turducken, seen in it's precooked state here:

(as you can see, I had nothing to do with the process besides for the festive paper napkins)

The deep-fry lasted from about 9am, when people first started showing up, until 4pm, when our dinner guests arrived and the last of the deep-fry guests trickled out. This was way too long and really, really stressed me out.

Meanwhile, I was in the kitchen all day preparing dinner, which included: turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, pumpkin bread, cranberry-apple crisp, corn muffins, and for the first time, a tofurkey, which was actually the most involved and time-consuming dish I prepared.

This is the dinner bird, aka the REAL bird, or MAIN EVENT, in its precooked state:

And here it is again, all carved on the table:

This is the tofurkey, which was DELICIOUS and was enjoyed and devoured by vegetarians and carnivores alike!

Around 4pm our dinner guests arrived and we had a wonderful meal together.

We had pilgrims:

Native Americans:

Dance parties:

And fun watching Lilah try new foods:

All-in-all it was a great Thankgsiving. The deep-fry fest went on way too long, making it hard for me to have the actual dinner prepared as perfectly as I would have liked (I am not posting pictures of the dinner table this year, because I get annoyed every time I see the aluminum pan that the corn muffins are in and the brita pitcher instead of the crystal pitcher). However, delicious food enjoyed with my family, while genuinely telling them how thankful I am for each of them and what makes them who they are, is what Thanksgiving is about and is why I love that holiday!

I never thought...

2010-11-15T16:13:00.000-05:00

I never thought…

The silk scarf I bought at a street fair on my honeymoon in Paris would be a staple in my kids’ games. It has served as a super hero cape, a baby blanket, a table cloth for tea parties, and everything in between!

My old ratty flip flops would become evening wear for dress up.

The silk purse I bought in Chinatown in San Francisco would get absorbed into the dress up bin and I would never be allowed to use it for myself.

The small hairbrush I used to keep in my evening bags when I went out many years ago would become my daughters’ regular hair brush.

My high school notebook would become a coloring book for my kids.

My Power Puff Girls tin that I used to keep my makeup in when I was a teenager would hold the kids’ crayons.

My stickers that I saved when I was a kid would end up stuck all over the house, put there by my own kids.

My daughter would play with my old barbies, complete with eighties outfits and hairdos (okay, maybe I did think that would happen).

Sophie would take a nap after 6 months of no naps and I could have time for things like blogging again!

To be continued...

Octoberfest

2010-10-25T16:31:00.005-04:00

Every Sunday this month I have planned a different fun Fall activity for the kids. This was mostly out of necessity (see previous post), although I do enjoy being outdoors during Fall. I love the weather and the colors. The first week of Octoberfest was spent apple picking (and then apple baking and eating!):

The second week we to a fall farm with a hay maze and huge slide:

Yesterday we went to the pumpkin patch:

This coming Sunday we are going to a party! Once November arrives (presumably with colder weather and shorter afternoons), I will need to come up with a whole new list of activities!

A Case of the Mondays

2010-10-25T16:03:00.002-04:00

Before I had kids my favorite day of the week was Sunday. I could sleep in, even stay at home in my pj's all day if I wanted to. I could catch up on my to-do list from the previous week. I could plan and do fun activities of my own choosing- even if that meant just watching old movies in bed all day. I could begin the next week rested and refreshed.

Now that I have kids I HATE Sundays. I get awoken around 7 am, just like every other day. The only difference is, there is no school, play group, music class, or any other planned activity. To adults, this equals relaxation. To kids, this equals boredom, which equals absolute insanity. Throw football into the mix and you have one parent trying to tame the insanity alone, and often quite bitter about that. The only solution I have found is to ignore both the fact that I should be relaxing and that there is another parent around. This means planning activities that take up the entire morning away from home. Another post on these activities to follow.

Before I had kids I hated Mondays. I hated waking up early and going to work after a relaxing weekend.

Now that I have kids I LOVE Mondays. Back to work for the football-loving parent! Back to school for the demanding pre-schooler! Babysitter will be here any minute for the tantrum-throwing-almost-two-year-old! I can BREATHE. Even if breathing means doing three loads of laundry, cleaning up the kitchen, and running on the treadmill (which is how I spent this Monday morning and most others). Because I can do all of those things BY MYSELF and think MY OWN THOUGHTS INSIDE MY OWN HEAD! Ah, relaxation! Monday just cannot come soon enough!

Abby's Plant

2010-09-20T09:37:00.004-04:00

Abby is one of those special people. She has a calming energy about her that puts others at ease. She can make you laugh, and hard. She gives awesome hugs. She is one of the things I miss most about my old job. When I first met Abby she was a counselor and I was an intern. As we moved up the ladder over the next couple of years, Abby was promoted and moved to another branch of the organization, and I was promoted and moved into her old office. Once she relocated, I missed our chats throughout the day and eating lunch together. I did; however, have a piece of Abby to keep me company- her plant. Abby's plant was, very appropriately, a peace lily. It was nothing fancy- just a regular green, leafy plant in a plastic pot. Something you might find in the floral department of the grocery store. But since it had been Abby's, and was now all that remained of her in that office, I grew kind of attached to it. So much so, that when I left work to be a mommy I asked my boss if she minded if I took it home with me. I brought it home, re-potted it, and put it in my living room. I loved that plant for all it represented- my old job, my old life, and most importantly, my old friend. Eventually, Abby moved to New York and our infrequent visits become nonexistent. The plant became even more important to me. Over the years I took care of that plant as best I could. I had had bad luck with house plants before, but I was determined to keep this one going. Then, one summer while we were on vacation, that plant suffered. I don't recall if it had been deprived of sunlight, water, or both, but it just wasn't the same after that. I tried my hardest to nurse it back to health, but it was clear that Abby's plant just wasn't going to make it. When we moved to this house last February I brought a dead plant with me. In denial, I would not so much as empty the pot of dirt. As Spring drew near, in a final desperate attempt to save this plant and all it had come to represent, I placed the pot outside. A few weeks later, to my amazement, there were signs of life. Two types of plants were sprouting- the original peace lily and a new coleus. Even typing this I know how odd it seems, but I was thrilled that the plant had not given up. Whenever I walk past this plant I think about so many things: that it pays not to give up, that it makes me feel complete to hold onto the past while forging ahead into the future, and that special friends stay in the heart no matter how much time passes.

Abby's Plant today- changed, but thriving

Abby and I in early September 2008

S.A.D.

2010-09-13T14:25:00.003-04:00

My favorite month is June. The entire summer stretches out before me in all of its warm carefree splendor. July is also nice. By then we are in full summer mode- lounging by the pool, taking trips, and enjoying a general state of relaxation. For me, seasonal affective disorder begins in August. I can already feel summer slipping away. By the end of the month school has begun. We are forced to return to a rigid structure and less opportunity for relaxation. Then, before we know it, September is here. The holidays are upon us and I move indoors to become a full-time chef. Even though the days are still warm, the nights are cool and the pool becomes too chilly for swimming. The leaves somehow know they should start falling. It is the beginning of the long wait for summer to return. Though this is cute:

I much prefer this:

Snapshots

2010-09-13T14:09:00.004-04:00

When the day is long, the whining is loud, and I am beyond tired of wiping other people's noses and behinds, I like to focus on the snapshots. These are the small moments within the seemingly larger ones. The moments when I can't help but smile. The moments I always want to remember. The moments that will remain with me when my girls are grown and I yearn for the long, whiny, wiped-filled days of yesteryear.

Happy New Year!

2010-09-13T14:05:00.003-04:00

Shana Tova!
Wishing you a year filled with good health, happiness, and peace!

Revisiting My Roots

2010-08-16T15:28:00.008-04:00

It hasn't been a month yet since we've come home from vacation, so it's still a perfectly acceptable amount of time to blog about it, right?

So we went to Charleston! Again! Yes, we go every summer! It is my birthplace, my hometown, my roots. It becomes more important to me the older I become. And the older my grandparents become. In my mind and heart they are ageless. As ageless as the beautiful oaks that fill Charleston. They are the same grandparents that taught me how to play canasta and took me on fun trips. But when I see them each year during my annual visit (which is just not enough- I hate that I can only visit once a year) they resemble the great oaks physically as well. Gnarled hands that cannot mold into mine when I hold them. Gray mossy hair. Limbs that twist and bend, and sometimes break... which breaks my heart.

We stayed with my aunt. My cousin and his wife were away on a cruise, and they left their daughter who is two months younger than Sophie with my aunt. Sophie had a built-in best friend and they had lots of fun dressing up and having tea parties.

We drove down all day Sunday, with minimal complaint from the girls. We arrived in time for dinner, play time, and bedtime. Monday morning we went out on the boat:

We stopped at a sand bar to play:

Then, we went home and got cleaned up:

We went to visit some other relatives, and then called it a night!

On Tuesday we hit the beach again:

And then visited the relatives again. On Wednesday we went to the Aquarium:

And then I took a Road Trip to Charlotte with friends to see:

Where I looked like this for the first half hour:

On Thursday, we went to Charles Towne Landing, where my uncle, photographer extraordinaire, took several gorgeous photos, including:

Thursday evening we said our good-byes to everyone and took in the local beauty for the last time (until next time!). This is where I'm from:

We Have a Walker!

2010-08-02T17:36:00.002-04:00

We interrupt this period of non-blogging to bring you an important message: Lilah is walking!

Stay tuned for pictures, vacation stories, and general updates as time permits.

New Blog Launch

2010-07-12T16:56:00.002-04:00

It has taken what seems like a million years, but I am finally ready to share the pictures and details of my new house! You can read all about it at:

restorationandremodel.wordpress.com

I wanted to wait until I had a few posts before launching it, which I now have written. So there is enough material there to get you started, but it is still in its early stages. I hope to add more posts over the next few weeks until I have posted about the entire house.

Happy reading/viewing!

Word Count

2010-07-12T15:35:00.002-04:00

Lilah has her 15 month appointment (a little late due to the doctor being on vacation) this Thursday. In an attempt to tell the doctor how many words Lilah now says, I am going to list them (as many as I can remember) here, in no particular order:

hi
bye
Mommy
Daddy
Lilah
Sophie
Tehila
Nana
Poppa
Aunt Ave
Doda (Hebrew for "aunt")
Leah
doggy
kitty
ducky
slide
car
go
outside
flower
water
milk
cracker
cookie
yogurt
banana
watermelon
apple
challah
chicken
snack
book
the end
walk
walker
stroller
girl
boy
where
Elmo (any character is Elmo, she couldn't pick the actual Elmo out of a line-up to save her life)
ball

So that's 41 so far... do animal sounds count? That would make the count even higher.

The Lost Weekend

2010-07-12T13:41:00.002-04:00

Once upon a time we had a dream- to have a weekend in our own home without the kids. A weekend where we could relax by the pool without chasing or consoling kids. A weekend where we could sleep as late as we wanted to. A weekend where we could go out together, just the two of us. A taste of what we used to have. And so we sent the girls to my parents for the weekend and made very few plans. This is how the weekend went:

Friday at 5:00pm- I returned from dropping the girls off at my parents.
Friday at 8:30pm- We ate a delicious steak dinner outside on our new outdoor furniture.
Friday at 11:00pm- We went to sleep.
Saturday at 10:00am- We woke up. Since our pool plans got rained out, we hung out indoors straightening up the house (hey, it's not so bad when there are no kids chasing behind me and screaming), and looking through old house documents we found in the attic (most comical, "the exterior walls shall receive three coats of lead paint).
Saturday at 2:30pm- We ate lunch outside. It was assorted sushi and assorted cheeses and crackers. YUM.
Saturday at 9:30pm- Night on the town!
Sunday at 1am- Bedtime.
Sunday at 11am- We woke up and went out to brunch.
Sunday at 1pm- We worked out and spent the rest of the afternoon by the pool until...
Sunday at 4:00pm- The dream came to an end.

It was marvelous. It's always interesting to me that I have no difficulty at all resuming my pre-kids lifestyle when the opportunity arises. I always expect to wake up early even though no one is crawling into my bed. But, alas, 11am is the time that greets me when I finally open my eyes. I assume I'll just watch TV and turn in early at night. But I get this rush of adrenaline and yearn to go out and join the rest of my age bracket! This weekend was such a nice way to rest and recharge (and drink copious amounts of alcohol). We are already looking at the calendar and trying to figure out when it can happen again!

Guilty, but Productive

2010-06-28T16:08:00.002-04:00

I did something today I never thought I'd do. And never did with Sophie. I began Day One of what will hopefully be a long term arrangement of a babysitter for Lilah two mornings a week for 2-3 hours. To me, being a stay at home mom means just that. It means I have consciously decided to do nothing but stay at home with my kids (while they are home, meaning before they begin attending school). It is quite the sacrifice. It has become too much of a sacrifice lately. Lilah has turned into a busy baby. Our house is the great uncharted Western territories and she is Lewis and/or Clark. And if you've ever been to my house you understand that this is only a slight exaggeration. Every electrical outlet, plant, food item in the pantry, door stop, magnet, etc. must be inspected, tasted, and partially broken. In short, she needs constant supervision. And in order for me to provide it, I cannot do anything else including using the bathroom. I began slacking off in all areas- cooking, cleaning, exercising, and yard work. Not to mention things I actually enjoy like conversing with other adults. So I made the plunge. I found a nice, responsible 18 year old with a wonderful personality and her own car. And this morning went off without a hitch. Lilah had someone to play with her and give her undivided attention for nearly three solid hours. And I accomplished the equivalent of what I accomplished during the entirety of last week. I do feel a little guilty. Actually, a lot guilty. When the babysitter said to me, "she is SUCH an easy baby" (because she has such a sweet, easy-going personality and IS easy when you are watching her like a hawk) I sort of stammered some lame excuse about why I needed a babysitter. I never would have thought I would have hired one. And it would never have worked with Sophie- she wasn't as exploratory as Lilah is, and she also was not as easy-going. If someone needed to be giving her undivided attention, that someone needed to be me, which she made quite clear. Lilah could not care less who is playing with her, as long as someone is playing with her. Hiring a babysitter seems to have been the right decision for us at this time and that's what matters. That's all that ever matters, really. That's what I have learned most about parenting, and is, in fact the "advice" I give new and future parents who ask for it. What works for one parent and child is not necessarily what will work for you. You have to trust your instincts and find your groove, even when it means second-guessing what you thought you believed at a different time in your life. When it comes down to it, it's all about survival. And right now, this babysitting arrangement is helping us survive a little better than before.

A Day in the Life

2010-06-14T14:05:00.003-04:00

I really don't have time to be blogging right now, but I need a break from my day. And blogging always feels like I am accomplishing something as opposed to doing nothing on said "break." Come to think of it, I may have used this title before, but it still fits, and, unfortunately, the Beatles aren't exactly coming up with new material :( Which reminds me! I am going to see Sir Paul McCartney live in concert! I impulsively booked a ticket! It is July 28! In Charlotte! And, no, I do not live anywhere near Charlotte. But Charleston is sort of near Charlotte and I need to make it down there at some point this summer to visit the relatives, so I booked a ticket! And a friend from way back when who I keep in touch with on facebook is also going! So we are having a girls road trip/night out with Sir Paul! Yay!

Anyhoo, A Day in the Life. Specifically my life. Specifically today. The last words I said before turning out the light last night were- and I am totally serious- "Please, God, let me get a lot of sleep tonight." To which God replied, "HAHAHAHAHA! No way, sucker!" Because not 30 minutes after falling asleep, Sophie woke me up for the first of what would be four times over the course of the night. Two of those times were to use the bathroom post her Chinese food dinner (enough said). So it didn't come to that much of a shock to me this morning when she insisted that she did not want to go to school because her stomach still hurt and she was tired. I told her she could stay home, even though my brain screamed, "NO! I HAVE TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE AND I HATE TAKING BOTH KIDS! AND WE ARE HAVING COMPANY FOR DIINER THAT I NEED TO COOK AND CLEAN FOR!" Shimmy, who usually drives Sophie to school before going to work, decided to go ahead and leave so he could get to work early. As soon as Sophie finished breakfast she exclaimed, "My tummy is all better! Now I can go to school!" This was about 10 minutes after school had started. I made a quick decision to put the rest of my coffee in the frig and get the three of us dressed and out of the house as quickly as possible. I dropped Sophie off about a half an hour late, and then Lilah and I headed to the grocery store. We came home, put the groceries away and I whipped up two awesome desserts for tonight that needed to freeze for the rest of the day. Meanwhile, I paused every two minutes to pull Lilah off of the oven, which clearly looks more like a ladder to her. She also needed to be pulled off of the dishwasher several times. When things got quiet I soon realized she was halfway up the stairs, which she still occasionally falls down. I decided to put her in her high chair and give her an early lunch while I cleaned the kitchen. During my cleaning I realized that I need to get Sophie's teacher's end of the year gifts. At some point I turned around and saw Lilah standing up, facing backwards, trying to climb and jump out of the high chair. Time to start strapping her in. As soon as I was finished cleaning up it was time to go get Sophie. I ate a quick lunch first- the rest of Lilah's macaroni off of her high chair tray. I ate it with the fork Sophie had used for breakfast. After I picked Sophie up we went shopping for teachers' gifts. Then we came home, everyone had a quick snack, and Lilah went down for a nap. Lilah is now sleeping. Sophie is having quiet time with a show. I just came back inside from trying out several different old hoses in an attempt to fill our pool quicker. Now I'm here. Damn, I think it's time to get back to work. Company will be here in two hours...

Conversations with Sophie and Lilah

2010-06-13T12:31:00.002-04:00

Interesting things Sophie has said recently:
To a friend: "Can you share with Lilah? She's a nice girl."
To me: "When I'm a grown up i'm going to have those chips, beer, and Texas Pete."
To me: "When I grow up I'm going to live in the little house [old house] again."

Lilah can't have "conversations," per se, yet, but she did say two new words for the first time yesterday:

Chicken
and
Sophie

It was very exciting!

After which, Sophie said to Lilah: "Oh! Thank you for saying 'Sophie!' You're a good girl! I love you!"

Final Session

2010-05-23T15:51:00.003-04:00

I nursed Lilah for the last time today. I didn't want it to be the last time. It seems too soon. I am not ready. But I am leaving her next weekend for four days and nights (a mini vacation centered around a wedding, otherwise I would not have planned to leave her so soon) so nursing must come to an end. I told her it would be the last time, but I doubt she understood. She nursed away happily, with her eyes half-closed. My eyes were half-closed too- full of tears, remember all of the times and places we've nursed over the past 14 months. I will miss the closeness only nursing can bring. The warm feelings that create that unbreakable bond. I will miss the meditative state we both enter while nursing. A state of total relaxation- a chance to let go of everything else, even if it's just for five minutes. I will miss the confidence it give me as a mother. Even if I am feeling like a terrible mother some days I can at least do SOMETHING right. THIS I can do. I will miss the little parts of it. Lilah's feet- exact little replicas of my own- stretching out and resting against my arms. I will miss smelling and kissing her hair and her forehead. I will miss making her smile and laugh so that she spills milk out of her mouth. I will miss feeling her warm little body against mine. I will miss all of it.

Every Day is Mother's Day

2010-05-17T15:57:00.004-04:00

Which is why it's totally fine that I am just now posting about it.

Over the past several days I've been watching this:

There is something comforting and and inspiring about caring for my children while watching a mama bird protect her soon-to-be-hatched babies in the nest right outside of our window. They say that as soon as you become a mother you become part of a tribe of other mothers, and it's true. You share knowing glances with strangers at grocery stores. You swap birth stories with other moms as soon as you meet them. But what I've found is that this is not limited to the human species. I have had several experiences where I have literally felt a bond with animal mamas. One of my most poignant experiences, and one which helped lead to my decision to stay home, was pushing baby Sophie in her stroller at the zoo. We walked past the Chimpanzee habitat and I just stared and stared at a mama chimp and her baby. She was swinging around, going about her business, and this baby chimp was on her back. It just looked so natural, like of course she was taking her baby everywhere. I locked eyes with mama chimp and got my confirmation: I am supposed to be with my baby. Instead of fighting the little voices that were nagging me to go back to work, I let go of the struggle and decided to stay home. I felt that my baby and I needed to stick together. (I feel the need to emphasize that this was the best decision for me, but not necessarily for everyone else. There are stay at home moms, full-time working moms, and a million kinds in-between and that is awesome. We're all lucky to be able to choose the best decision for us and our babies!)

So, Mother's Day. It was a lovely day. After a couple of other events we headed down to the last day of a gallery exhibit that I had wanted to see. As an amazing Mother's Day gift, I got to take this home:

Of course, the real art collector's find that I got that day was this:

What it's all about:

(Yes, that is a dinosaur. This is the most recent pic I can find of them together, taken a couple of weeks ago at the science center.)

Courtesy of Skee-Lo

2010-05-04T15:51:00.003-04:00

When I decided to be a stay at home mom for a few years I thought part of the bargain would be having time to pursue some of my hobbies and interests. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Yea, lots of free time. The thing is, I know I do still have at least a teensy bit more "free" time now than I will have one day when I go back to work. I really want to find time for the things that interest me. Such as:

Photography- I bought a nicer camera just before Lilah was born. I play with it occasionally. I can adjust the f stop manually, do some basic editing, and take a much better picture than the average amateur out there. But that's it. Ultimately I want to never visit a Picture People again. I want to take beautiful photos of my kids, and maybe other people's. I just can't seem to find the time to learn what I need to learn and implement.

Cooking- I love to cook. I am pretty good at it. My new kitchen is huge and has semi-professional equipment. When I do have time to cook, the food is awesome. But I wish I had more time to try elaborate and gourmet recipes. I want time to experiment with new things. I kind of also want a prep chef and someone to clean up after me.

Sewing- I do not know anything about operating a sewing machine. But I wish I did. I just want to be able to sew a simple hem, make some throw pillows, that sort of thing. While we're on the topic- any recommendations for a good beginner's sewing machine?

Exercise- I'm not sure if this is a hobby, but it's something I semi-enjoy and wish I had more time to devote to. Out of all of my "hobbies," this one wins. I do work out at least 3 times a week, but gosh that's not enough. I probably devote the most time to it because it's more socially acceptable to be a sucky seamstress than it is to be a lard ass.

Craftiness in general- I love painting, scrap booking, reupholstering, etc. I did paint the whole playroom. It is about 99% done and I promise to take photos (albeit mediocre ones since I have no time to pursue photography) when it is totally finished. I wish i had more time for the little projects I think of from time to time.

While I'm listing the impossible, or at least the not very likely, let me just throw this one out there- learning to play a musical instrument. I started to learn piano at one point, but had to stop when I moved away from the piano. I wish I could play piano or even drums.

I also wish I had more time for this blog. Sigh.

The Timeline of the Nap

2010-05-04T15:25:00.002-04:00

December 2006- January 2007, B.C. (Before Children)- I napped
January 2007- July 2007- No naps for Sophie or me (Gosh, those were fun times!)
July 2007- April 2008- 2 naps for Sophie, 0 for me
April 2008- February 2009- 1 nap for Sophie, 0 for me
February 2009- March 2009- 1 nap, accompanied by me to (a) transition her into her new room and bed, and (b) rest my 9 months pregnant self
March 2009- May 2009- 1 nap for Sophie, 4 naps for Lilah, sometimes a nap for me
May 2009- August 2009 - 1 nap for Sophie, 3 naps for Lilah, occasionally a nap for me
August 2009- May 2010- 1 nap for Sophie, 2 naps for Lilah, very rarely a nap for me
May 2010- 0 naps for Sophie, 1 nap for Lilah, maybe a couple of minutes alone in the bathroom for me if I'm lucky

And here's just a random question: At what point should one cease to hold out hope for something being "just a phase?"

Party Time

2010-04-29T20:31:00.003-04:00

This past Sunday we had Lilah's First Birthday Party. I really had not wanted to host 50 of our nearest and dearest, but I knew Lilah deserved a big bash just like I had made for her big sister two years earlier. It was the fourth birthday party I have made, and it was by far the best. I was virtually stress free. Somehow, even though there were more people and more preparations, I managed not to freak out at all before, during, or after the party. I think I finally have these things down to a science. It was so nice just to enjoy the day with everyone.

A few days before the party I had two different photo shoots with Miss Lilah in the hopes of using one shot as a sign in board at the party. The first shoot consisted of pearls and a tutu (which I made myself!):

The second shoot was a cake smash and we used one of the photos as the sign in board:

Lilah had a great time at her party:

It still amazes me how much Lilah has grown and learned lately. In the past two weeks she has become an expert crawler, learned how to pull herself up consistently, and walk around while pushing the walker. She has learned some new words (most notably, "cheese," which I am obviously THRILLED about). She is down to one nursing a day, which saddens me tremendously, but I need to have her completely weaned before we go away for Memorial Day weekend. Where is that tiny little baby I used to snuggle against me all day long? Why do these kids keep growing up so fast? SIGH. At least as they do grow up we can have some pretty fun parties.

Pesach 2010

2010-04-12T16:12:00.007-04:00

Things have been crazy lately. Today's saga alone has consisted of floor refinishing, projectile vomit, cleaning out the back seat of my car and car seat from said vomit, and an adamant refusal to nap or have quiet time from Sophie. Don't be too jealous.

However, I didn't want to pass over (ha ha ha!) a post about Pesach. We had a great time. We stayed at the Hotel Liberman again for a week and a half. Our stay included three meals a day that were cooked and cleaned up after by someone other than me. The hotel also provided free childcare from the time the kids woke up (I got up at my leisure) until they went to bed.

We decided to have a special seder for Sophie on the first afternoon (and the real one later that night) where we told the story of the haggadah, sang the songs she learned, talked about everything on the seder plate, hid the afikomen (4 times, as that was clearly her favorite part), and danced and sang some more. It worked out great. I've always struggled with the fact that the seder is supposed to be for the children, yet in order to let them be a part of it they have to stay up super late, be more patient than they are capable of, and eat dinner at an absurd hour. This was a great way to have the best of both worlds- mini seder for the kids, then after bedtime, real seder for us.

It wouldn't be Passover at the Hotel Liberman without a pre-yom tov family photo:

After which we attempted a Messing Family Photo:

Well, we tried.

Later that week we had a lot of fun. We met up with some blog buddies at the Children's Playseum in Bethesda:

We went downtown to the National Cherry Blossom Festival, which Shimmy and I have been doing since we were dating:

On the way home I stopped and took a pic of the Real World DC house, because I'm just a dork that way:

We also had fun playing at the park:

It was a lovely week and a half. Thank God for holidays, parents, and warm weather!

My Baby is One

2010-03-27T21:01:00.002-04:00

Happy Birthday, Lilah!

In some ways I can't believe an entire year has passed since you were born. It seems like yesterday you were so tiny, covered in new baby smell and softness. In other ways it seems like you've always been here. I can't remember a time when your giggle didn't fill our home and our hearts. I remember vividly everything about the way you looked when I held you seconds after delivering you. Sometimes I see the exact same expression on your face as I did then. A tiny creature whose eyes were full of wonderment. Those eyes are reflections of my own- both in physical appearance and sentiment. I am full of wonder of you. You are my calm child. Always peaceful, serene, quietly observing and later implementing what you have learned. I hope you always have that sweet, peaceful energy about you. I love you for that and for so many other reasons. Happy Birthday, baby girl. Looking forward to a lifetime of love and memories!