First Month in Review

I have composed many beautiful, poignant, and amusing blog posts over the past month. The problem is; however, that they never left my mind. There have been no breaks in the crazy. I am still adjusting to the extra plates I must now keep spinning. I know I will adjust. I know it will get easier. Right now, though, it is nearly impossible to find the time to write. I know I won’t be able to recount the past month the way I really want to, but I want to try to remember this time, so here is my sloppy, rushed attempt.

Week 1 was wonderful. I was thrilled to no longer be pregnant (and still am). We were still in holiday mode, all of the family was here together, and now Judah was here with us too. Shimmy took off from work- both from going into work and from doing work of any kind from home. Even though I was sleep-deprived, I was running on adrenaline. I was in bris preparation mode- going to the florist to pick out centerpieces, menu planning with the caterer, picking out linens at the linen guy’s warehouse, writing my speech, making arrangements for the friends and family that were coming in from out of town, etc. Because the bris was on another holiday, and one of the largest in terms of synagogue attendance (namely, Simchat Torah) we planned a luncheon for a few hundred people. All of the major event planning took my focus and stress away from the main event: the circumcision itself. Everything went perfectly, thank God, and it was a beautiful event. Unfortunately, because it was on a holiday we have no pictures. About a week after the bris I got around to staging some pictures:

Jude on his bris pillow, wearing the outfit that Shimmy wore to his own bris. Taken one week after the actual bris, but better late that never!

Week 2 is when I crashed, but remained in good spirits. I was exhausted, but optimistic that things would ease up soon. I felt determined to keep things running smoothly and to rough out the storm (which, from past parenting experience is never longer than three months). Shimmy was back at work and busier than ever (which, for him, meant not coming home at all some nights), but still I persevered.

A picture of Jude cropped from a picture of him with one of our many visitors.

Week 3 is when I snapped. I did have some help- friends brought dinners and my parents came up to help several times, but I could feel that sense of doom falling upon me. One evening I sat on my bed holding a fussy Jude while my parents sat on my rug, each of them holding one of the girls while they watched a tv show. I could not stop sobbing. All I could think was, “I need some effing sleep.” I felt like I was running on auto pilot. I was depressed and numb. One Sunday I managed to escape long enough to get my eyebrows waxed. It felt good to have hot wax poured on my skin and ripped off. It felt like something besides my usual haze. When the aesthetician was finished, the clock in the salon chimed on the hour, and, I kid you not, played “Hey Jude.” It was time to go back to the crazy.

Jude in his CAPS gear. We watched the game together on one of our lonely, and sleepless, nights.

By Week 4 things started looking up. I finally started getting some sleep. I began going to sleep around 9 or 10pm instead of waiting for the midnight feeding. Judah also started sleeping for three or four hours at a time some nights instead of his typical two. Somehow I managed to work out twice and even did my own nails. Though, I think what really improved things was having cocktails at 11am with my girlfriends, during what has until now been referred to as “playgroup,” but what will henceforth be referred to as “Tuesday brunch and cocktails.” I love my ladies!

My personal trainer napping in his swing in our home gym while I ran on the treadmill.

Which brings us to the present: Tomorrow my Judah Jack will be one month old! Even though it’s been rough at times, I love him to pieces and I can’t imagine our family without him.

Hanging out in the fall leaves

Jude’s Birth Story

I had been very uncomfortable since around 37 weeks. I had contractions, sometimes ones that were both painful and regular, every day. At 39 weeks exactly, on Yom Kippur, the contractions were so intense and regular that I went to the hospital, only to be sent home. I was miserable. At my 39 week appointment I was dilated 3 cm, which was encouraging. At least all of those contractions were accomplishing something. My parents came to stay with us for Sukkot, which they had planned to do all along. The thinking was that if I had not yet had the baby, they would be here in case I went into labor. And if I had had the baby, they would be here to help. To my consternation, I had not yet had the baby. I was very preoccupied with meal planning for Sukkot and having everything arranged and organized for everyone should I be in the hospital. On the second day of Sukkot, around noon, I began having regular, painful contractions. They would taper off, only to pick back up again a while later. I rested, took a bath, and continued to labor at home all day. By dinner time I couldn’t take it anymore. After we put the girls to bed we left for the hospital. I expected to be at least 5 cm dilated given the awful day I had had. However, after being checked, my doctor told me there had been no change since my last appointment. I was crestfallen. He said since I was over 39 weeks and there were available beds, they would keep me if I wanted. He gave me the following options: 1. Go back home, possibly facing another few days of this unproductive labor. This was unacceptable to me. I could not imagine going through even one more day of this. 2. Walk around the hospital and be checked again after a couple of hours. This didn’t sound appealing either, since after an entire day of what I thought was semi-active labor I had not progressed. 3. Give me an epidural, turn up the Pitocin, and have this baby. I went with option 3. By midnight I had been given the epidural and was comfortable. By 12:30 am the Pitocin was working its magic. By 6:30 am I was completely dilated and ready to push. Three pushes later Judah Jack was born at 6:42 am Friday morning, October 14, 2011 (one day before his due date)! He weighed 7 pounds, 13 ounces. He was 21.3 inches long. His apgar scores were 9 and 9. He was perfect! I couldn’t believe I had a son! Delivery and immediate recovery were a breeze. I did not tear at all, and the epidural wore off pretty quickly. I had been telling everyone since before I even delivered that I wanted to go home as soon as I felt ready. They told me I had to wait at least 24 hours, so after I delivered on Friday morning, I told anyone I encountered that I would be going home the next morning. We made sure everyone had our discharge papers ready, and that all necessary exams and vaccines were given. By Saturday morning I felt great; I wasn’t even that sore. Due to an outbreak of pertussis, the hospital was offering moms a DTaP vaccine, which I accepted before going home. We got home in time for lunch in the sukkah. We had only been gone for about 36 hours, and we picked up our holiday/Shabbat celebrations right where we had left off. All of my best friends were eating at another friend/neighbor’s house that day and I couldn’t resist surprising them by popping in. I felt fantastic, so I bundled Jude up and along with Shimmy and the big sisters, we walked over. Everyone was shocked and happy to see us- I am so glad we went! Recovery continued to go well. I ended up a having a localized reaction from the DTaP vaccine which resulted in an extremely sore, red, and itchy upper arm for close to a week. This was my only complaint recovery-wise (other than the sleep deprivation). I feel very lucky to have had such a great birthing experience and to welcome our sweet little boy to our family!

Hey, Jude!

Judah Jack "Jude" Messing was born Friday, October 14, 2011 at 6:42 am.



He weighed 7 pounds, 13 ounces and was 21.3 inches long.



He is super cute and snuggly.



Delivery and recovery were, thankfully, very easy, and we left the hospital less than 28 hours after he was born. (Full birth story to come.)



Aren't they cute? Having three kids is fun! And tiring! And sometimes a little crazy! Which is why it took a week and a half to report that the third one had even been born!

Incriminating Evidence

I am a tidy person. I like to stay on top of clutter before it gets out of hand. When something is out of place, I put it away. That being said, the following pictures prove how overwhelmed and in pain I have been lately:


My kitchen floor has looked like this for DAYS.


Why, yes, that is a close up of a half-eaten waffle on the floor. It still took me a few hours to throw it away after I took the picture, because it was just not worth the pain involved to bend down and pick it up.

24

I have never seen the show 24, but I have been told that each episode covers a 24 hour period, and I imagine that a lot happens over the course of each said 24 hour period. Here are my last 24 hours:

3:30 pm yesterday: Sophie had been home from school for only a few minutes (God bless the friend that brings her home every day. It is seriously my saving grace in life.) when Lilah woke up from her nap. I was not excited at the prospect of entertaining them for another four hours until bedtime, so I took them out shopping at a couple of nearby stores.

5:00pm: Things were going pretty well. I had found some shoes for myself, a birthday present for a kid's party we are going to this weekend, and each of the girls had chosen a book. Sophie was being a typical four year old in a store: dancing down the aisles, walking backwards, touching all of the clothes, etc., but generally behaving. Lilah was eating a snack of cheese crackers. She was asking to get out of the stroller a lot, but was also behaving fine. She had been coughing/congested all day and the school nurse had called me, but I hadn't been all that concerned. My kids have asthma; they cough a lot. Sometimes they wheeze and we use an inhaler. No biggie. All of a sudden Lilah's coughing turned into vomitting. All over herself, the stroller, and one of the not-yet-paid-for books she was holding at the time. And we were next in the check out line. Here is where my experience at these types of things came in handy. I calmly walked us all to the back of the store, toward the restroom, drawing as little attention as possible to ourselves (impressive feat considering we were a caravan of vomit). When we got to the restroom, the door was being blocked by a garment rack. I struggled to move the rack, open the door, and maneuver my nine month pregnant self, a fidgety four year old, and a stroller containing a crying, vomit-covered two-year-old through the narrow opening, all while a saleswoman looked on and made no attempt to help in any way. Once inside the small room, I got to work. Luckily, I carry an entire package of wipes in my purse at all times. I wiped down Lilah, the book, and the stroller pretty quickly. I got everything organized in the stroller's basket and started to open the door. The garment rack had been pushed back against the door again, so once again, I had to really struggle to get us all out. Again, the saleswoman was just standing there watching. When we were all settled on the other side of the door I thanked her for her help. She told me it wasn't her job to help me. I said a few more sarcastic things to her and walked away. We walked over to the kids' clearence clothes, picked up a cheap dress to change Lilah into, and made our way back to the check out line. When we were outside, I changed Lilah into the new dress, and back home we went. All in all, we did find a way to pass a couple of hours, so mission: accomplished.

6:00pm: We had breakfast for dinner followed by the kids playing outside while I potted some plants.

8:00pm: The kids had been bathed, changed into jammies, had watched their bedtime show, and went to bed pretty easily. Lilah was not breathing well, so we did the inhaler and I set up a mist humidifier in her room.

9:00pm: Shimmy came home and we had dinner and our daily debriefing session together. Then he went to work out and I went to do my hair for my maternity photo shoot that was to occur the next day.

10:00pm: Shimmy and I reconvened for the Roast of Charlie Sheen on Comedy Central. It was hilarious. I fell asleep before it was over, hoping to get a good night's sleep and be refreshed for my photo shoot.

10:48pm: Lilah woke up crying. Shimmy did the inhaler with her again and put her back to bed.

1:30am: Lilah woke up again. Shimmy laid down with her in her bed.

3:50am: Lilah came and got me. Shimmy was passed out in her bed. She climbed into bed with me. I gave her a snack and let her watch some tv, then we both went back to sleep.

7:46am: I heard Sophie in the bathroom calling out, "Daddy, help me!" Followed by, "Daddy, I'm starting to pee on the floor!" Followed by, "Daddy, I had an accident!" Daddy was still passed out in Lilah's room and deaf to the world around him. I stumbled into the bathroom through my sciatica and leg cramps, cleaned up the floor, and showered Sophie. Then I helped her get dressed and went downstairs with her to make breakfast and pack her lunch for school. The construction workers, who were already here, asked me many questions and had me move a car. Lilah made her way downstairs shortly thereafter in good spirits, but her breathing was very labored. Shimmy made his way downstairs shortly after that and decided that both he and Lilah should stay home today and that Lilah should be seen by a doctor. I decided to hell with everything, I would go about my own plans to make myself glamorous and enjoy my maternity photo shoot, which would now have to be indoors as it was raining.

8:30am: Shimmy took Sophie to school and Lilah entertained herself while I attempted to cover up my stress and lack of sleep with copious amounts of coffee and heavy doses of makeup.

9:30am: My photographer arrived and I had a GREAT session. Loved the photographer and can't wait to see the results!

10:30am: I went with Shimmy and Lilah to the doctor. I helped Shimmy hold Lilah down while she underwent a dreaded nebulizer treatment. We left with a better-breathing Lilah and some prescriptions. We went out for lunch, attempted to pick up the prescriptions (but they were still not ready), and went home.

2:15pm: After a lot of snacking, reading, stalling, and then rolling around and talking to herself, Lilah finally fell asleep.

2:40pm: I decided to go to sleep too.

3:13pm: Sophie woke me up, asked me for a snack, and told me, "Don't tell Daddy I woke you up."

Which brings us to the present, 3:30pm: Sophie is eating a snack and watching a show. Lilah is still napping. My parents will be here in a couple of hours to eat dinner and babysit while Shimmy and I are at Back to School Night. When I get back home I will have an exciting evening of four loads of laundry to fold.

Back To School

First day of school

The kids have just finished their first complete week of school. Everyone is happy. The morning routine is working, everyone is having fun at school, and afternoon carpool is working out well. I am breathing easier and my back is hurting less. I am crazy busy with appointments, meetings, holiday prep and nesting- the lines between which are very blurry. But I am alone! I can do all of these things and do them well! And the kids are so happy when they come home- babbling excitedly about the fun day they've had! Everybody wins! As sad as I am to say good-bye to Summer, I think Fall is going to work out just fine. To start off the season right: apple picking on Sunday!

Catching Up

I've been too busy to blog, y'all. Both the good kind of busy and the bad kind of busy. I'll try to catch up now- and I'll do it with pics to make up for my lack of blogging.

The construction, which should have been finished well over a month ago, is still going on. I'm hoping everything on the inside of the house will be finished by the end of next week. The landscaping is still a complete mess. It should also have been finished a few weeks ago. There was a lazy period, followed by progress, followed by a week of rain and flooding. I have a dream that one day when I look out the window I'll see grass, plants, paved walkways, and a fountain. I am so very tired of looking at mud, rocks, holes, and ditches:




We took our annual Charleston trip for a week in the middle of August. We rented a beach house with a great view:



And we had a ball:



It was great hanging out with friends and family and spending time with each other:



The very next weekend we headed up to Cleveland to celebrate our niece's bat mitzvah. The kids loved hanging out with their cousins:



We had time to squeeze in a trip to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum (no matter what I do, this picture keeps posting sideways):



The next weekend, Shimmy and I flew to Atlanta without the kids for my cousin's wedding. Even though we were only there for a total of 26 hours, it was amazing. Firstly, because instead of spending between six and ten hours in the car as I had done for the past few weekends, it was a short hour and a half flight! I got to eat, sleep, and party like a normal person! It was fabulous! I found this pic on my camera- I think my dad took it. It's blurry, but it's happy:



And that brings us to the present. The summer is over. The kids are in school (that will get its own post), the weather is gloomy, and I am busy planning all of our holiday meals. Oh, and a baby is coming soon. Back to the grind! Nine more months until summer is back in full swing.