Unhelpful

A few months ago I blogged about how I had thrown in the towel and hired a babysitter. At the time, the times that she was coming were not the most helpful. I decided to continue having her babysit because I was sure that some help was better than none. I also wanted to have her be a familiar face so that my kids would be comfortable with her if I ever needed her for a late night when she would need to put the kids to bed.

A couple of weeks later the babysitter said she had decided to quit her other job and could come babysit for us 3 afternoon/evenings a week from 4pm-8pm. This was perfect. I thought I could use that time to work on my course assignments. Or go to the grocery store alone. Or both! This worked out great for a while, but not without its kinks. She was always either late or could not come at all. I was quite used to this from her. She had been this way since she first started babysitting for us last May (after our former babysitter- who was AMAZING- left to study abroad). She canceled on me the night before the very first day she was supposed to come. I had a doctor's appointment scheduled and I think either Shimmy had to stay home from work or my mom had to drive up here (she lives 45 minutes away). I should have known then that this girl was not the most responsible. When we asked her to sleep over during the weekend we were out of town for my cousin's wedding I waited for the last possible day to book hotel and airfare because I was sure she would cancel last minute. (Thankfully she did not.) I've tried to talk to her about the importance of being on time and reliable. I've explained to her that I cannot make plans when I'm not sure if she will be here on time. She seems to think that she is very responsible and reliable but that things come up once in a while. The problem is that it's not once in a while, it's EVERY FREAKING DAY.

Two weeks ago she said she had decided to take a class that had opened up during the evenings that she babysat for us. She texted me this a couple of hours before she was supposed to be here. I thought that was the end and started to look for someone else. Then she decided she could still babysit here one day 4-8 and one day 1:30-5:30. That would have worked well enough for me. But this never happened. She was always either late or she couldn't come altogether. I cannot express what a nightmare it was trying to schedule things with a babysitter who is so unreliable. Saving errands, a work out, etc. for a time that I had scheduled a babysitter only to have her cancel is one thing. But scheduling actual important meetings, doctor's appointments, etc. to then have to cancel them when she did not show up is quite another. Still I didn't fire her. I continued to look for a new babysitter while tolerating this one. I still reasoned with myself that unreliable help was better than no help at all. Plus, the kids do like her and it's good to keep them familiar with her for those occasional late nights, blah blah blah. Not only have I tolerated her unreliability, but I also let her sleep over when she has an early class the next day. I have let her do her laundry here. I have let her bring her dog here when she needed to. I feed her dinner every time she is here. If I cook, I make sure there is enough for her. If I order take out, I order her her own meal. Around Christmas and her birthday I pay her extra. I am a great person to work for. I always try to show people my appreciation.

However, today was the last straw. On Monday I texted her in the morning to make sure she was still coming that afternoon (which, I should not have to do at all, but I like to avoid last minute surprises). She said she would not be able to come, but would be here today. I texted her this morning and she said she would be here at 1:30. I planned my day accordingly. At 1, she text saying she would be here at 2:30. At 2:30 she texted to say she was on the way. At 3pm, when I realized that Sophie was now standing outside of school waiting for me to pick her up, I called the babysitter hoping she would say she was 1 minute away. She was 20 minutes away. I told her not to bother coming and to please call me later to discuss our situation. I woke Jude up and put him and a barefoot Lilah in the car and raced to get Sophie. This was two hours ago and I am still shaking with anger.

And, yet, when I call her (because I am sure she will not call me), I know she won't think she is at fault for anything. I know she will apologize and make empty promises to be here every time from now on. I know it will be tempting to try to believe her. But I'm pretty sure we are past the point of "any help is better than none." Because this situation with this babysitter is just plain unhelpful.