I Don't Know How She Does It

The first paragraph is the beginning of a post I started writing weeks, maybe months, ago, and just came across today.

A few years ago, my friend and I read the book, I Don't Know How She Does It. (Ironically, the movie based in the book came out a few months ago, but my friend and I gave up trying to find a way to see it.) Even though I think I only had one child at the time, the book really resonated with me. Being a mom is hard. Being a mom and trying to also be anything else is really hard. It can seem impossible at times. Now that I have three children and a new career I feel like I am floundering around in a sea of stress just one big wave away from drowning. I ask myself: How can I do it all? And I answer myself: I can't do it all. And what I can do, I don't always do well. But I do my best. And my best is pretty damn good. And I keep swimming.

________________________________________________________________________________

At some point I realize how far I’ve swam, even though it has been hard at times. I realize I haven’t flailed in a while (haven’t cried in a while!). I’m getting somewhere. I think I see some land ahead. I can swim on. I want to!

Every once in a while, like today, the swimming is easy, manageable, almost boring. It is the first day of Spring/Passover Break. I had not made plans for today, and worried we would all be bored and the girls would spend all day watching tv and fighting with each other. I had given up hopes of making it to a hockey game tonight, but given Shimmy my blessing to go ahead (not without feeling very jealous). I pictured a long, difficult day and night. And, yet, the opposite has happened. Sophie was invited out for a play date. Lilah, who has sadly been suffering from allergies all week, has been watching tv in a Benadryl coma. I gave her a mani/pedi and have been sitting with her, but she has required no real attention. Jude has been napping for the past three and a half hours (I keep checking on him- he’s fine!). I have finished all of my Passover preparations and I’m actually kind of bored (hence the blog post!). On days like today, the swimming is smooth indeed. “Doing it all” is doable. I’ll keep today in mind when a rough day of swimming is upon me again.