Opposite Sides of the World

For a week this month, our family was divided on opposite sides of the world.  Shimmy and Sophie went to Israel for a week to celebrate our nephew's bar mitzvah.  Lilah, Judah, and I stayed home.  While Shimmy and Sophie were taking in views like these:

View of Jerusalem from the porch

The desert, on the way to the Dead Sea

We were going about our regular activities:

Lilah, joining my workout session

 Our family had never been divided this way before.  It was a little odd.  We missed each other.  We missed out on some of each other's milestones:

Sophie lost her first tooth

Jude turned 10 months

But, it was also nice in some ways.  Lilah began to see Jude as a playmate, which she had not really done before.  They interacted with each other and played nicely.  It was a great bonding experience for them.  My relationship with Lilah benefitted as well.  She was suddenly my oldest, so she became my helper, confidant, and buddy.  We really enjoyed each other's company.  Without the noise (both enthusiastic and argumentative) of the two girls, the house was a lot quieter.  It was peaceful and pleasant.  We had fun playing at home, and also went out on some fun outings.  We missed our other two-fifths a lot over Shabbat.  I had not spent shabbat apart from Shimmy in nearly ten years.  It was reported to me that Sophie had a hard time with the separation as well.  Early Tuesday morning we were all reunited and happy for our family to be in one place again!  We spent the day together catching up.

Reunited and enjoying a picnic in the playroom

People of Walmart

It's that wonderful time of year again- back to school.  While I am excited beyond words that school is resuming, I do not care much for the back to school shopping.  I understand the need for some extra items beyond what is supplied by school (notebooks, pencils, and the like), but I don't really understand why the school (or the state) cannot provide my children with boxes of tissues.  So, because each of my girls has a sizable supply list, and because we are in that horrible camp-is-over-but-school-hasn't-started-yet time period, I decided to take all three kids back to school shopping.  And because I already spend more on tuition for my kindergartener and preschooler than my parents spent on my college tuition (state school- GO TERPS!), I decided to forgo my usual store of choice (Target) and get me some bargains at Walmart.  Except, GOOD GOD, I hate that place.  The school supply aisle was a mob.  Halfway through our lists, we had to abandon our cart for a bathroom trip.  The bathroom was disgusting.  I won't describe it.  However, as a PSA: Please leave your stall the way you would want to find it.  And a friendly reminder: if an automatic flusher does not flush, there is usually a way to flush it manually so that the next person doesn't have to deal with your mess.  Ugh!  Then we resumed our shopping only to have to settle on items that were similar enough to the ones on the list.  These teachers are crazy specific.  I mean, do they even go to the stores first to make sure they sell the items they tell us to buy?  I refuse to go all over town to find a six pack of assorted colored dry erase markers that have low odor.  There was not one pack that met all of that criteria.  I ended up paying more for something like a 14 pack.  And the only 64-crayon box I could find was not Crayola brand (as specified on the supply list), so we bought an (gasp!) off brand.  Once we were making good headway, another bathroom trip was requested.  But this time we got there too late and I had to leave Sophie outside the bathroom with Jude and our cart, while I cleaned up Lilah.  We fought through the masses of people to finish up our shopping.  When we checked out, our cart full of items (school supplies and other things too) totaled less than $100.  That was more satisfying than I thought it would be.  I am fairly certain I would have spent double that at Target.  But it may have been worth it.

Trying Something New

My head is always filled with ideas for blog posts.  My draft box is always full of half-written posts.  I only ever seem to have time to share a sentence at a time.  I very much want to keep blogging.  But I also want to be able to share more thoughts more often.  So I'm going to try something new.  While you wait for me to have time to write complete and articulate blog posts here, you can read incomplete and inarticulate thoughts here.  See y'all on twitter! @LateNightFeedin

Scary Mommy

I recently attended an event for a limited number of guests where I was privileged to hear Jill Smokler, author and blogger, read from her book and answer questions about parenting: of which she makes clear that she is not an expert.  There was a pediatrician to give real answers.  Jill was there to make us moms feel better about doing what we have to do to survive mothering.  She is the gang leader of all of us scary moms.  And judging by the amount of time she spent hanging out with my friend Julie and I, she liked me best.  I almost want to invite her to my next night out with my friends since she lives just a few miles away.  Almost.  That might be too stalkerish.  The night was a blast.  Forty moms packed into a room with cocktails, hors devours, and the freedom to speak our minds.  If you aren't familiar with Jill's blog, you should go over there as soon as you finish reading this one.  She provides an honest and hilarious look at motherhood.  There is also a confessional, where one can anonymously leave confessions about personal experiences and observations.  What I love the very most about the blog and book is that almost everything I read I have also thought or said at one time.  In that way, the blog/book provides a confirmation and camaraderie that I really enjoy.  It's so nice to know that I'm not the only scary mommy out there.

Jill Smokler and me

The cover of Confessions of a Scary Mommy

My autographed copy

My scary mommy confessions:

1. I was the first guest to arrive to the above mentioned event.  That was because I couldn't stand to be in my house for one more minute.

2. If I ever get divorced, laundry and dishes will be the reasons.

3. I make my three-year-old sleep in a pull-up at night, even though she always wakes up dry, because it's one less thing I have to worry about at night.

4. I sometimes have passive-aggressive fights with my husband that he very possibly is not even aware of.

5.  I don't have a monitor in my baby's room because I don't want to wake up with every peep he makes. If he is really crying, I will hear him and get him.  Otherwise, I'd rather not be disturbed.

6. I would do almost anything to get a good night's sleep every night for the rest of my life.  Or at least for the foreseeable future.  I'd even settle for a week's worth of uninterrupted sleep.  How about just tonight?  Please?!

7. I am very strict about what my kids eat, but I have my own secret stash of treats for when I need them.

8. Sometimes I opt to drive myself or my kids places instead of carpooling because I cannot stand being late- especially when it's someone else's fault.

9. I often have a glass of wine or a cocktail while the kids are eating dinner.  Everyone's happier that way.

10. Now that I am a working mom, I am busier than I have probably ever been, but I'm also the most fulfilled.

Feel free to leave a confession of your own in the comments section!

Moms Can't Get Sick

The old saying dictates that moms can’t get sick.  It’s with good reason.  Things fall apart.  Everyone suffers.  Even- especially- the moms, who have even more work to do once they are healthy again.  When I became a mom and realized just how vital my role was, I took the saying that moms can’t get sick one step further and started to tell myself: moms don’t get sick.  I can’t get sick, therefore I won’t get sick.  Mind over matter.  For the most part, this does work.  If I feel a cold coming on, I drink more liquids and take Zicam religiously.  I do not let myself believe that I am getting sick.  Most of the time I do not get sick. 

Last Friday I had an exceptionally busy day.  I had been cooking up a storm the entire week and Friday was the last day of cooking before three straight days of entertaining large crowds.  It was also the day I sliced the place where my right index finger meets my palm on a tin can.  My first thought was that I did not have time to seek medical attention.  I wrapped that finger in paper towel after paper towel until it finally stopped bleeding 45 minutes later.  In the meantime I continued prepping food with my left hand, washed a bunch of dishes, and drove the afternoon carpool.  Mind over matter. 

Once in a while this mantra does not work, and I am forced to succumb to sickness.  Sometimes these bad situations have a silver lining.  A few months ago I was stricken with a stomach virus.  I was bed-ridden.  I ate nothing for four straight days.  I drank only a cocktail of gingerale and powerade.   Once everyone, including myself, accepted the fact that I was very sick, we all fell into a makeshift routine.  My sister came to help one afternoon.  Shimmy came home earlier than usual and took care of the kids.  I did what I could, which was nurse the baby, drive carpool when there were no other options, and sit on the porch steps of a friend, who was afflicted with the same plague, while we watched our kids play with bubbles pour bubble solution on the ground, each other, and themselves.  It sounds horrible, right?  And it was.  Except for the part where I was bed-ridden, couldn’t do anything, and couldn’t eat.  I watched the entire first season of Downtown Abbey (OMG IT’S THE BEST SHOW EVER).  I got a well-deserved break from my 24/7 mom job.  And I lost three pounds, which I have successfully kept off!  In some ways it was a best week ever. 

A few weeks ago something similar happened.  I had had a migraine for close to a week straight.  My doctor suggested I try a new strategy which was to take my prescription meds + an OTC pain reliever.  I didn’t have that particular pain reliever at home, so I left Shimmy in charge, and headed to the store.  There was road work being done, so it took an extra long time to get there.  Once I had bought the pain reliever, I also decided to treat myself to some dark chocolate-covered almonds.  I headed back to my car to sit and eat my snack and take my pills.  Then I decided to pop into the wine store to stock up for the weekend.  They happened to be having an in-store wine tasting, so I sat down and had a nice time tasting wines and talking to the staff.  I headed home, my migraine mitigated, and my spirits lifted.  A day that began in excruciating pain ended up becoming a delightful afternoon of me time.

So, while it is true that moms can’t get sick, and shouldn’t get sick; sometimes they do.  And when they do, they should milk it for all it’s worth.  Because, before they know it, the jig will be up and they’ll have to get out of bed to start the 20 loads of laundry and two sinks full of dirty dishes that await them.

Seventh Heaven

Jude is now seven months old. What?!  How is that possible?!  Craziness! He is at my very favorite baby stage.  He sleeps 12 straight hours at night.  He takes two amazing two-hour naps each day.  He happily eats any pureed food I feed him.  He can sit and play with his toys (or watch his sisters) for nice amounts of time.  He babbles.  He laughs.  He snuggles.  He is adorable.  This is the age that I want to hold onto.  This is the age that upon realizing I can’t hold onto, I usually console myself by saying there will be another.  This time I’m not sure there will be.  And I want to stay here in Seventh Heaven snuggling and giggling with this perfect little boy as long as I can.

Mini Vacation

I recently took a mini vacation.  It felt so bizarre.  Freeing, yet awkward.  Fun, yet involved.  When my hockey team (The Washington Capitals, the only way you wouldn’t know this is if you don’t know me in real life or on Facebook) made it to the second round of Stanley Cup Playoffs I was determined to get to a game, no matter what it took.  Somehow, all of the planets aligned and I was able to go!  It was thrilling, right from the start.  It was my first time on the dc metro in years. I first took the elevator in the wrong direction, because they had completely redone the metro station since I was last there.  I didn’t know if it was “peak of peak” time, so I paid the higher fare just in case. I brought a book (Scary Mommy by Jill Smokler, whom I recently met- that’s a post for a different time!), but I was too excited to read. I felt young and full of possibility. I picked up my date (husband) from his place (office) and headed out to drinks with a fun gay couple (my sister and partner), and then we went to the Caps game, where they ultimately lost in triple overtime.

I had such a fun evening!  But, I couldn’t help but be consumed by the thought that so much preparation went into attending (what should have been a) three hour game. When Shimmy decides he wants to go to a game all he has to do it walk a few blocks. Which he does, about once a week during hockey season in its long entirety.  I, on the other hand, had to arrange for us to spend the night at my parents house, pack us all up, take out garbage, prepare for the cleaning lady who would be coming early the next morning, pick up the girls early from school, drive down to Silver Spring, go over the kids’ detailed schedule with my mom, pack a separate purse (with a hand pump among other things), get a ride to the metro, return to my parents’ house after the game, pack up all up early the next morning, drive the girls to school, and go home exhausted.  Although I wouldn’t want to go through all of those steps too often, it is worth it once in a while.  Everyone needs a mini vacation every now and then!