Do you feel like a grown-up?

That's what my friend asked me on Monday after I told her that Shimmy and I were going out that night for New Years Eve and hiring a babysitter for the first time. I laughed at the question, because I have felt like a grown-up for a long time now. But later on her question rang in the back of my mind. As I got ready to go out, got dressed, put on my makeup, and sprayed my perfume, I was taken back to the Saturday nights I would spend as a little girl watching my mom get ready to go out (it was the '80's and I can still picture my mom's heavy eyeshadow and smell her Estee Lauder Beautiful perfume). When I picked up the babysitter it was so odd to be the one in the driver's seat making chit chat with a teenager instead of being the teenager. And it was especially daunting to be the one handing over the money at the end of the evening instead of the one receiving it! (I paid her VERY well.)



It was a big step for me to leave Sophie. We have never left her with a non-relative before for more than about an hour, and that was only a couple of times and with people we know well and trust. As soon as we walked out the door I told Shimmy I wanted to stay home. But we went out and we had a good time. Since we had put Sophie to bed before picking up the sitter, she never even knew we were gone. I was only slightly paranoid while we were out, and only had minor anxiety attacks when Shimmy's cell phone rang (he got two wrong numbers, which was quite nerve-racking). All-in-all, the evening went well. And one day I will take pride in telling Sophie that she never had a babysitter until she was almost a year old.