First Day

Monday was the first day of camp. It was the first day of Sophie's third summer at the same camp. It was Lilah's first day of camp- or any program without me- ever. Lilah is my easy-going child. She is smart and sweet. She adjusts to change fairly easily. I have been leaving her with a babysitter (at our house) for a few hours a week for the past year. I had attended a Mommy and Me class with her at the school where camp takes place. Half of her bunk mates are her best friends, the children of my best friends. She has seen these kids about three times a week since she was nine months old. I had not given much thought to the possibility of camp being a major transition. And, yet, there were tears when I took her to camp. I abandoned the idea of dropping her off in the carpool line with Sophie, and instead, walked her in myself. There were tears when I said good-bye. So I stayed for a few more minutes. More tears, so I stayed a bit longer. Finally, I left and watched her through the window. She was sad, but engaged in an activity with her counselor. I drove home fighting back my own tears. I had a list of things to do during the three hours she was at camp, but instead, I found myself wandering around and checking the clock to see if it was time to pick her up yet. I did manage to convince myself to get on the treadmill (if all I was doing was walking around the house, I may as well be walking on the treadmill). When noon finally did arrive, I picked her up. She greeted me with a smile and said, "I had fun with my friends." She looked happy. She also looked different. She looked like a big kid standing there with her backpack on. She looked older. I remember this happening to Sophie too; this transformation. It is subtle, but it is there. It is a maturity; an independence. In a short three hours of fending for themselves (with lots of supervision), children grow. It is a good thing. There is a part of me that wishes kids could do both- be independent and still stay attached. But this is life. My baby birdie flew out of the nest this week. And I am both proud and a little sad.