Okay, so I am just going to freestyle for a few minutes here before I have to get back to my (desperate) housewife duties. Yesterday, while voting (for OBAMA, so suck it- I am sick of racists, bigots, backwards people, and regular well-meaning conservatives trying to talk politics with me) I ran into someone I have not seen in years. When she asked what I was up to, I said something about taking care of kids and making kids. I think I meant for it to be funny, but it does kind of make me a little sad. I love my life. I love my husband and his fast-paced, ambitious career that must always come before mine because that's what keeps food on the table and me in my luxury rich-mommy SUV. I love my kids- the one who I chase around and laugh with all day, and the one who is snuggled in my belly throwing me sweet little kicks throughout the day (and night). I love waking up at 8 am and leisurely drinking a big cup of coffee in my pj's before heading out for a fun day of crafts or music or playdates with Sophie. BUT I also used to love earning a paycheck, helping my clients, going out for drinks with awesome coworker friends, feeling like I made a difference in this world, feeling like I was SOMEBODY.............. Choices are tough. I would make the same choice to stay home with my kids again. I know one day I will go back to work and I will treasure the days I'm living now. I am so so very happy to be the one to teach Sophie new things and play with her and read to her and snuggle with her before nap time. Never in a million years would I want to pay someone else to do this for me. At the same time, I am human, and I have yearning for my own time and interests as well. The only time I am ever in a car by myself is when I go to my monthly doctor's appointments (it used to be when I drove myself to the mikvah). Sad indeed. This is the only time I can listen to the music of my choice and eat without passing bits of my snack into the backseat. I have a doctor's appointment on Friday, so woohoo- I can have the 5 min there and 5 min back to myself in just 2 days!
It took Sophie an hour to fall asleep this afternoon, and that was an hour ago. So I'm hoping she'll sleep for another hour, giving me some time to work on a couple of projects, which are (embarrassingly):
1. Israel scrapbook- this trip was 5 months ago and I have barely started.
2. FINISH MY BELLY CAST- before Sophie was born, Shimmy plastered my belly so that I could have a keepsake from my pregnancy. I still have not done anything with this plaster except re-plaster over it sometime in the summer to make it smoother. I better finish this cast before Baby #2 gets here. And no, I am not making another. I have learned better than that.
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Late Night Feedings
Tales from the crib: life with Sophie, Lilah, and Jude
About Me
- B
- I'm an interior designer and a former social worker, but more importantly, I'm a Mommy to Sophie (1-15-07), Lilah (3-27-09), and Jude (10-14-11). I enjoy long walks on the beach, sipping cocktails, and traveling to exotic places, but I currently wipe noses and bottoms, make up silly songs and dances, and say things like, "don't put feathers in the cantaloupe!"
1 comment:
Batsheva! What a profoundly fantastic post! You put into words exactly how I (and I'm sure many other moms) feel about mothering. And it's so funny what you said about driving to docs' appointments...I actually look FORWARD to going to the dentist these days...just to have some "me" time. But thank G-d we are in a position that we can stay home and raise our children and not be forced to work to pay the bills. The grass is always greener, but the truth is, we're lucky ducks with a very very hard job. miss ya! -Rina
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