Ratios

Having three kids feels like a lot more than two. When there are two parents present it is fine; even enjoyable at times. However, on the days (almost every day) that I go at it alone, it is challenging. 1:1 was hard, mostly because it was all so new and different, but it was manageable. 1:2 was also manageable. In fact, it was easier than 1:1 in some ways, especially once the 2 could play together and entertain each other. But 1:3 is very, very hard. It seems like at any given moment at least one kid is upset or sick or in need of help or in need of entertaining or in need of intervening. Or more than one kid is in need of more than one of those. Or all three are. Most days it’s all I can do to keep my head above water. I can never manage to run errands and complete household chores on the same day. It has to be one or the other. Exercising is hard to fit in, but enjoyable and rewarding when I can make it work. Add volunteering at the girls’ school, helping a friend in need, or anything extra at all and I start to feel like I’m drowning. So I have thrown in the towel and asked our babysitter to come over two evenings a week to provide an extra set of hands. She’s here from the tail end of dinner (which is as soon as she is able to get here after her day job) through bedtime. Two days ago was the first time she came. It was kind of helpful. She held Jude while I finished supervising dinner for the girls, cleaned up dinner, and made their lunches for school the next day, and gave them a bath. Then she sat with the girls and watched tv with them while I fed Jude. Then she held Jude again while I put the girls to bed. Since Jude fussed almost the whole time she held him, I could have just put him in a swing or bouncy seat. And the girls could have watched tv in my room while I nursed. So I’m not sure this is money well spent. She’s coming tonight, so we’ll see how it goes. It’s not exactly the 2:3 you get with another parents or close relative (because I really just want someone to hold Jude while I’m in the shower and then have them make me dinner and bring it to me while I am nursing, and I can’t exactly ask the babysitter to do that!), but I guess 1.5/3 is still better than 1:3.